Guilty pleasures: the food edition
This is what happens on the in-between days. We’re going backpacking tomorrow, but today we’re sitting in this hotel room, a two-laptop couple, very modern, black Lab at our feet snoozing off yesterday’s excitement.
And since I’m just sitting here waiting for friends and family to e-mail me, reading other people’s blogs, wondering if the neighbor kid is watering my plants, I thought I’d throw out this question to y’all:
WHAT FOODS WOULD YOU MOST LOVE TO EAT IF DEFENDING YOUR LIFE IS RIGHT AND THERE ARE NO CALORIES IN HEAVEN?
And let’s take it even further: let’s say that in heaven, your belly can handle any mixture of foods–salty, spicy, sweet, fatty–without any reflux or bloat or discomfort. And you don’t have to eat it all, you can just take a few bites of each and send the rest away without any guilt that you’re depriving other cloud-dwellers of their own portion of sweet and sour pork. There is no guilt whatsoever. This is part of your reward for having made it through that life down on earth.
Let your brain go wild. We’re talking massive decadence here. Bizarre combinations (like my cousins’ need for peanut butter and syrup on top of their pancakes). We’re talking those wonderful treats from your childhood that your grandmother fed you without caring that you would have to keep shopping in the chubette section all through puberty.
And I don’t just mean foods you’ve binged on, like the time I ate five bean burros in a row. (My fat days. Another story.) It’s not just our experience inhaling an entire sleeve of Thin Mints in one sitting (I mean, come on–that’s a serving, right? They wouldn’t package it that way otherwise). I mean putting together a meal so delicious, so redolent of your life here on earth, that you’d be willing to order only that from the menu for the next half of eternity.
Me?
Breakfast: Pillsbury orange rolls and those frozen honey buns you bake and then unroll and eat from the outside in–everything with plenty of butter on it. And Camp 4 coffee (which, by the way, I got to have this morning. Hurray!).
Lunch: A turkey sandwich with stuffing and cranberry sauce on top. Strawberry milk.
Afternoon snack: Milk and cookies. And maybe a Dairy Queen vanilla cone dipped in butterscotch. And maybe some corn chips dipped in peanut butter.
Dinner: Anything my mother makes–meatloaf, pork roast, stuffed green peppers, enchilada pie. And her homemade cinnamon rolls as appetizers and dessert.
Hmm. Not seeing a lot of fruit or vegetables on that list. Doesn’t matter. Those are issues for earthlings.
Your turn. What’s on the menu?
Technorati Tags: Guilty Pleasures, Food, Defending Your Life, Albert Brooks, Heaven
August 15th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
My weaknesses are Cheetos (yes, I know!) and Snickers bars. I avoid them like the plague. In heaven, I would eat them until I died a second time.
Oh, and I’ve always loved ginger ale floats. Just like a root beer float, except with ginger ale instead. Mmm…
Great. Now I’m hungry.
August 15th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Defending Your Life was a great movie,I saw it twice when it was in theaters(remember the part where Brooks realizes how good Meryl Streep had it due to her getting chocolate swans on her pillow?).
I adore Doritos(and other cheese favored snacks)but due to having to watch my salt,I stay away as much as I can. But,in the afterlife,I would add them to my daily menu:
Breakfast-French toast,bacon and orange juice(I have been drinking more oj lately but the other stuff takes too much time to whip up)
Lunch: I would have two options,a)tuna sandwich with pickles on it(so good!)and Doritos on the side or b)corned beef hash cooked with ketchup and onions(it’s so damn good but the sodium levels are scary!)
Dinner: Meatloaf w/ tomato sauce(it’s not meatloaf without tomato sauce-gravy makes it salisbury steak),baked potato and corn on the cob
Dessert:Anything chocolate:)
August 15th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Yes, you two–salty, fatty–that’s what we’re talking about! Heaven deserves its reputation!
August 15th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
sounds like someone’s getting lonely for civilization. that’s why i don’t camp, hike, “backpack”, call it what you will–besides the dirt, grime and mosquitos and the dirt and grime, you’re visiting, uninvited, the bears’ (real bears, not dogs named bear) house. i don’t want them muckin’ around my yard and i return the favor. which of course brings us to today’s post.
first a confession–i am a food lover (not a foodaholic, but food lover, not a gourmond, just a i love good food of any type from anywhere kinda food lover–well i draw the line at anything that may result in sudden death (like puffer fish or mushrooms i’ve gathered myself) and i’m not overly enthusiastic about foods that harbor intestinal parisites and i shun all things monkey. other than that, don’t tell me and i’ll probably eat it and chances are i’ll enjoy it. in fact i mark most of my most pleasurable life experiences by memorable meals. i am continualy amazed how i can forget such things as the names of my cousin’s kids (who i see with some frequency) but can conjure up with absolute mouth-watering clarity the fork tender, lightly breaded, sauteed abalone enjoyed at the breakers in morro bay more years ago than i choose to admit (a dish i attemped to replicate countless times at restuarants up and down the west coast, without success), ruby red ahi in san diego, the trout burro at cafe pasquale in santa fe (so delectable i had it for breakfast and returned to have it for lunch), back to back dinners of the elk tenderloin in vail, buckets and buckets of the sweetest oysters on god’s green earth, or brackish tidal waters, at a bar in manhatten that we ate as fast as the bartender could shuck them.
my favorite food however is ANYTHING my friend kathy makes. she is not only a fantastic cook, during our 21 year friendship (our anniversary was last week) she’s has always been able to intuit exactly when this girl was in emotional need of a full on feed. my biggest compliment as a chef (and i’m not exactly a slouch in that department)–came last month when, for the first time, kathy asked ME for a recipe (pork barbacoa if you must know. thow on some tortillas, add a side of rice and black beans and you have got youself one heck of a meal).
i am now drooling all over my keyboard. so if you’ll excuse me i think i’ll go throw together some seared halibut with citrus glace, tarragon rice, grilled morels and endive salad (with goat cheese and dried cranberries).
ps for dessert, dq hot fudge sunday with extra hot fudge-YUM!
August 15th, 2006 at 7:48 pm
WOW, Annette.
August 16th, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Cannolis from Bruno’s Bakery near NYU in Manhattan.
Droste Chocolate. The dark stuff. Bittersweet.
Veal Marsala. Served over Basmati Rice. With a real Caesar Salad on the side and don’t hold the anchovy paste.
Eastern Shore Maryland Crabs in the shell, thrown by the bucket onto the table covered with brown paper and with plenty of melted butter for dipping. Eat ‘em until you wanna burst.
I wish I could afford the good caviar more often, it truly is exquisite.
Rare Prime Rib from the Black Angus in Adamstown PA. And yes, it’s Prime Black Angus Prime Rib. It’s what they’re known for. Obviously.
My own smokehouse chili, a 6 alarm wonder. Southwesterners complain because it has beans in it while they’re killing the whole pot . . . two handed.
White peaches from the orchard in Pittstown New Jersey right about NOW. You take a bite and the sweetest peach juice in the world runs down your arm.
Shrimp Scampi so garlicky you reek of it for days, over basmati. With my special “it takes two days to make it” cucumber salad.
Kimchi from the korean girls who sell it at the flea market at Cowtown in South Jersey. They dip it out of a huge barrel, claim it’s been fermented buried for months, and it’ll scorch the paint off your car, never mind the roof of your mouth.
A Philly cheesesteak WITH. If you’re from South Philly you know what that means.
Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey or Cherry Garcia. Either/or.
Biscuits and Gravy from that little hole in the wall cafe in Norway South Carolina, or the way Chief’s wife, Jackie, from Sallisaw Oklahoma makes them.
Peel & eat Large Shrimp. With fresh grated extra horseradish and lots of lemon in the homemade cocktail sauce.
Risotto made by my Nana. Followed by a dessert of Zabaglione.
Marinated artichoke hearts, and not the ones you buy in the grocery store.
Lebanese Mixed Grill from The Almond Tree in Alpha, with extra garlic sauce and a side of stuffed grape leaves. Ah hell, lets go for broke and order the hummus too.
PA Dutch Pickled Eggs, but with vidalias substituting for the regular onions.
New Jersey (greek) Diner Cheesecake. With either pineapple or blueberry topping. This was also my pregnancy crave.
Hot Tamales from the guy who used to vend them on the lot on Sunday at the 26th St. Market in Manhattan ten years ago. Followed by those cardamom candies the West Indian girl used to sell the same way.
And on those rare occasions when I’ve had a few beers (Yuengling Lagers) a couple few “belly bombers” aka White Castle Hamburgers (or actually cheeseburgers.)
August 17th, 2006 at 1:48 pm
BJ, this was obviously your post. I think you and Annette need to be best friends. And then write a cookbook/food guide together, please.
August 17th, 2006 at 2:21 pm
bj–i’m dyin’here–everything sounds so good–pleeeeze take me to dinner, anywhere!