Fiction author Robin Brande talks about writing, reading, and other vital matters

A few nights ago I attended a dojo wedding (definition: two members of my dojo marrying each other, causing an unusual number of black belts to be gathered in one church. Ninjas optional). The bridal party (including the maid–excuse me, bridesman–of honor) were all men, all of them close to six feet tall, and since the groomsmen were all impressively large, too, when you looked up at the bridal table at dinner, all you saw was one petite woman in white, flanked by eight burly men in tuxes. It was like a dream sequence.

But let’s back up to the ceremony for a moment. I’ve never seen this bit before. Following the reading of the vows, the minister pulled out a separate sheet of paper and said, “[Groom], [Bride] would like to add a few requests.” And thereupon began the reading of the bride’s list of demands, including “Watch fewer stupid cartoons” and “Do more of the cooking.” Then it was the groom’s turn. His list included “Spend less money” and a few other touchy matters.

Wow. What a concept. I’m sure all of us married people in the audience were mentally compiling our own lists, wondering if it was too late. Some of the dating couples probably asked for that minister’s card. Especially since one of the sentiments he expressed on behalf of the church was that the bride and groom “always remain hot lovers.” I don’t remember that being part of any of the Baptist ceremonies I was flower girl for when I was little.

Let me be clear: I love my particular husband, and am very, very glad I married him. But we all have our annoying habits, and I’m sure both my husband and I could come up with our own lists of demands if we ever renew our vows. He’d probably like me to nag him a little less, and I’d like him to stop forcing me to nag him–it’s exhausting and takes up so much of my time.

So what do you think? Should we make the list of demands a regular part of the wedding ceremony? Just get those issues out there in front of everybody, including your brand new in-laws? Or would you rather no one ever know those dark, embarrassing secrets that your sweetheart was obviously willing to overlook long enough to tell you “I do”?

Technorati Tags: Weddings, Wedding Vows, Marriage, Wedding Ceremonies

Posted on Saturday, December 2nd, 2006 at 10:06 am under Life . Subscribe to responses: RSS 2.0 Comment Feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.