Do we know what we want to do by 5th grade?
I read this article once about how people’s personalities and interests are so well-established by the time we’re in fifth grade, whatever we say at that point we want to be when we grow up actually comes to pass a high percentage of the time.
That’s certainly true for me. In fifth grade I wanted nothing more than to be a writer when I grew up. I talked myself out of it in college–didn’t seem practical, etc.–and after a slight detour involving law school and lawyering, I finally made my way back to the right trail.
I’ve given several talks to fifth graders this year, and I always include a game to help them identify what they really want to be when they grow up, whether that career seems practical or even possible. As I had to assure one girl, lots of people have gotten to be dolphin trainers over the years, so why not her? And the boy who wants to be a professional skateboarder? Tony Hawk and others have done it, so it’s hard to say that’s impossible. If they know what they want to be–whether it’s a banker, a rock star, a doctor, or President–they just have to figure out the steps to get there (and we brainstorm some of those in class), and then be deliberate about taking them. Seems obvious, but if your dream is to be an explorer, as one kid said, then you’d better spend your time doing something besides watching TV.
So what do you think? Is this hypothesis true? I’d love some anecdotal evidence to back up my claims before I tell more ten-year-olds that of course they can grow up to be astronauts who surf and have their own TV show on the side.
Technorati Tags: Careers, Career Assessment
December 5th, 2006 at 6:36 am
if Shamu keeps eating trainers, there will be a much higher demand for that girl.
I think it’s true that 5th graders know what they like and want, but I think there are other factors involved.
One factor would be knowledge about how to turn it into a career. Second would be getting support in getting there.
Here’s an example: I was talking to an aimless high school grad. He told me that he thinks that he wants to be a professional snow boarder. I said, that’s great, so what are you doing about it? Have you entered any tournaments? Have you looked into working at a slope and being in that environment?
Umm, no.
See, some of it is knowledge. How to get there. How many people stand around and say they want to be a writer, but forget to write?
And some of it is support. Britney Spears, Lance Bass and Christina Aguilera had support. I believe that in their cases, their parents moved to Disney specifically for them to pursue careers when they were in their early teens.
So, as parents, how do you recognize when to sacrifice for your kids? How do you know when it is just a flight of fancy?
December 5th, 2006 at 8:32 am
Patrick, I fully agree with you about kids needing to understand the steps to get somewhere. I try to do a little of that in my talks, because you’re right–often it is just a flight of fancy, and the kid who wants to be a vetrinarian might not realize she can’t bear giving animals shots or seeing them bleed. Or might not know that she has to be interested in science, not just animals.
But at the same time, I want kids to know that their dreams aren’t frivolous–that if they want to grow up to be writers, actors, professional soccer players, whatever, all of that is possible if they commit themselves to learning how to get there and then working hard for that goal.
December 5th, 2006 at 9:27 am
You must speak with my son. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him he will probably never be bit by a radioactive spider…
But I can’t come out and tell him he CAN’T be Spiderman. Not yet, anyway.
December 5th, 2006 at 9:47 am
That’s a tough one, Heather. But you’re right not to discourage him. Maybe he’d better watch the movie about a hundred more times, and then he’ll begin to understand the steps.
But don’t let him play with spiders.
December 5th, 2006 at 11:38 am
Right, just give him radioactive isotopes to bathe spiders in.
December 5th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
There is a powerpoint floating around the blogosphere called Did You Know. It talks about the number of careers that school age children will have, 10-14 jobs by the age of 38. Many of the jobs have not even been created yet.Writing yes, but maybe not in the same way.
Did you see that the readership of newspapers is rapidly declining and may force newspapers to close or find different ways of conveying information.
I guess I would have to say that I do not think that students will know what they are going to do by 5th grade. My 7th graders have no idea, and my 22 yr still doesn’t have a career goal….;)
http://thefischbowl.blogspot.com/
December 5th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Yes, but do you think they at least know enough about their personalities to know their likes and dislikes? For example, do kids know at age 10 or 11 whether they’re good with math and science versus English and the arts?
December 5th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
I knew. I always dreamed of hunting down 4 year old emails for lawyers on billion dollar lawsuits.
Really, at that age I knew what I liked, I just didn’t know how to pursue as a career or if it was an option. I would say that most parents are more aware now about not beating down the dreams or not pushing to known high paying stable careers like working at Enron.
December 5th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
5th grade is too late for most of us: personalities are generally formed by age 5 before kids enter the latency period. While I don’t think careers are chosen for most by 5th grade, I do think there is a relationship between personality type and career choice. You know, you see a high percentage of certain types of personalities in certain careers. I do think the relationship is mediated by many factors like parents, finances, mentors, experiences, etc.
I think grownups have a responsibility to provide kids with all types of experiences as well as helping them to explore areas that they are interested in. I think that kids also need to be exposed to things they don’t think they are interested in too. My son hated piano lessons at age 7, but actually thanked me recently-those lessons morphed into a strong interest and talent in music-he now plays drums, guitar, clarinet as well as piano. Maybe he would at some point have developed an interest in playing music even if I hadn’t forced the piano lessons, but it would have been a shame if he hadn’t-he’s good at it and he gets a lot of joy out of it. I’d love to see my kids follow their dreams and interests and find a way to turn those into a career they loved. “Work” is such a big part of American lifestyle, it ought to be something you love to do. I don’t think most of can, or should make those kind of choices in 5th grade. Who needs 5th graders with tunnel vision? I think even early college years are too early to decide for some kids. So much to do and see yet…
And then there is me…Couldn’t decide if I wanted to be a lawyer or a psychologist, so I did both. When I first graduated and was studying for bar, I applied for a summer adjunct position in psychology at a college and the psychology professor told me he wouldn’t hire me because I “obviously” had an identity problem because I couldn’t decide between law and psychology and needed to take time to ‘figure myself out’. I still have that rejection letter-it’s a classic.
December 5th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Deborah, thanks for your insight. You and readerdiane make some interesting points about college kids and career goals. I’ve always viewed college as a time to explore all the possibilities by taking as many courses in as many areas as you can.
I agree with you about the piano lessons. It’s good to offer those opportunities to kids, even if they think they might not be interested. But I’m sure we’ve all seen the flip side–parents who become so militant about music or dance lessons or sports activities that they manage to drain all the fun out of it for their kids.
And it’s back to what Heather and Patrick said–how do we know when something is a flight of fancy (Spider-Man, for example) versus something we should really get behind and encourage? There has to be the right balance between squashing dreams and supporting them.
December 5th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
You are so right about the balance-balance seems to be a life long struggle.Parents struggle to balance what’s right for them between what’s right for their kids, struggles to balance work and everything else, struggles to balance the checkbook even. Dreams are so important and who knows? Maybe that interest in being Spiderman will turn into being an inventor of devices to enable the physically disabled to walk, run and climb great heights? Or maybe just a device to strangle all those militant parents who are relentlessly marching their kids through activities and sports and academics to satisfy their own needs and not their kids.
December 5th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
“There has to be the right balance between squashing dreams and supporting them.”
As a parent, that is exactly it. And that is one of the reasons why I chose to have only 1 child. Because with more than that, you are balancing the needs/desires of one child against another. What if one wants to be a disney singer/dancer and the other wants to be a downhill skier?
And as a parent you have to use discretion. My son said he didn’t want to play T-Ball anymore. He always protested when it was time to go, but then got excited when he was in the car. Do I listen to him? Not at 4 I don’t. But am I forcing him???? No idea.
It is about exposure too and the things that you do with them. My son will do whatever I want to do with him. Go play ball, play piano, play video games, read and write, golf, whatever. I wonder which I should be doing in the time that I have to play with him, should I concentrate on just a few so he is more driven towards those? Or continue to provide variety so he can decide later? how do I decide which sports he should play?
Hey - this just in - parenting is hard…
December 5th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
I think it was probably quite obvious what I wanted to be when I was in fifth grade, given the amount of time I spent in the library, my book collection, and the dozens upon dozens of notebooks i had full of stories… but I wanted to be an astronaut.
However, I agree with all those who said that this idea is only valid if the people are actually taking little fifth grade steps towards doing that. For instance, I was in Young Astronauts. We built little rockets that carried eggs, grew tomato plants that were in space, learned about the shuttle, learned baout the history of the space program… stuff like that. I don’t think that most 12 year olds are that focused, but a kid who hates animals probably is NOT going to be a vet. The kid who hates the outdoors is probably NOT going to be an Army Ranger. The kid who hates books will not be going into Library Science. But yeah, future teachers may be babysitters or sunday school assistants or etc. Future vets probably have pets or butterfly gardens.
Also, even if my child wanted to go into the performing arts, I would NOT move them to Disney and let them become a pop star. I don’t care what kind of dreams I’m squashing in this particular case. Because it’s my dream that my kid will be a kid, and not snorting cocaine with lindsay lohan at the age of 13. I will support them in all their performing arts endeavors in the form of drama clubs and school plays and dance lessons and what have you… they can be a pop star when they are 18 and not before. period.
December 6th, 2006 at 5:07 am
Diana, love the astronaut story! And I applaud your hard line about not trucking your kid down to Disney. The only drawback to that is what if your child is a really great actor, and you’d be depriving all of us of his or her talent? I’ve gotten plenty a good cry out of watching some talented child actors over the years. While I think some of those stage parents are maniacs, I appreciate the sane ones who recognize their child really wants to do this, he or she really has the talent, and so yes, we’ll support you by taking you to auditions.
Again, I think it’s balance.
But Diana, I definitely support another decision you’ve talked about with regard to raising your future child: you will not let him or her watch any of the Star Wars except the original three (Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi). Solidarity, sister.
December 6th, 2006 at 10:29 am
I’m just using Disney performers as a known example. They aren’t all bad. I mean, they could turn out to be gay astronauts after working at disney.
You know, those girls just need strong parenting, like Joe Simpson. Don’t blame Disney or Lindsay.
December 6th, 2006 at 5:24 pm
as follow-up on deborah’s point–a child’s ambitions can only be framed by what they know. i wanted to be a crop-duster. why? well, i knew that girls couldn’t be software engineers or long-distance truck drivers. i swoon at the sight of blood, so i couldn’t be a nurse or dental hygenist. that’s about it for the “good” jobs. so crop dusting seemed like such a logical choice i never questioned it. by age 15 i had saved enough money for flight school. upon learning that, although i could take the ground-traning class, i would have to wait a year to actually fly, i spent my savings on a summer trip to europe with a college sponsered group. everyone on the trip was interested in knowing where i was going to college and what i planned to study. hmmm, college, now there’s an idea….
December 7th, 2006 at 6:05 am
Well, yes, some of the Disney kids turned out just fine. Ryan Gosling seems to be doing okay — but that’s my point. I think Gosling would be the actor he is now WITHOUT the help of the Mickey Mouse Club as a child. I don’t think when they cast him in The Believer it was because they so appreciated his Young Hercules stylings…
MOST child actors don’t make it through puberty alive, and even if they do come back (a la Drew Barrymore) I odn’t think I could survive that kind of wild years. Yes, you’ve got the Natalie Portmans of the world to hold up as well-adjusted examples, but I prefer the exaple of, say, Tina Majorino. Child star (Waterworld) who dropped out in her teen years to live a real life, and is now totally kicking ass on Veronica Mars and Big Love.
But I guess it’s also a choice to make if any child I have is skilled in any area that is professional level at a very young age. Olympic level skater or something. I hate what I see it do to families, to other siblings. Their whole world/family/lives/businesses falls apart so this one child can be a movie star or a gymnast, or etc.