I’ll be your best friend
Just so you understand my train of thought:
Yesterday afternoon I was in the midst of a Bikram yoga class, which you may know takes place in a heated (105-degree) room, and you may also know I live in one of the hottest places in the country, and so obviously I’m a little loopy. But I love the yoga, and in the summer we all suffer so, but it’s worth it to walk outside and find that the 104-degree evening temp feels cool.
Yeah, it’s an acquired taste.
The teacher yesterday was the hardest of the hardcore, and she has this brutal habit of either never turning on the ceiling fans until the very end, or turning them on early and then killing them halfway through. WHY????? It’s the cruelest thing to do to us poor dripping humans. Sure she opens the doors every now and then to let a breeze through, but come on! I can see the fans overhead and I want them spinning, dammit! Give me my illusions of cool!
Finally I couldn’t take it. I was truly, desperately hot and thought I might snap at any moment. But I contained my rage/agony and instead said sweetly, “If you turn the fans back on, I’ll be your best friend.”
To which Hardcore replied, “Nah, I already have enough best friends.” But she was just joking and she turned the fans on and I didn’t have to kill her.
I was thinking about her answer, though, last night when I read Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast’s interview with Adrienne of What Adrienne Thinks About That. The thing that sold me in particular was the link to Adrienne’s column about this. I just think that’s some high-quality disclosure.
Plus the whole interview really showed what a thoughtful, funny, interesting, sweet person Adrienne is. Which is why I need to be her best friend.
I’ve been having that experience a lot lately. Let me just say that I actually have one best friend and that’s really all I’ve ever needed. She’s been my best friend since high school and we talk all the time and we’re both committed to seeing each other enjoy the happiest lives possible. That’s very important in a best friend. You don’t ever want to feel like you’re competing or that you have to hold back in any way. It’s a glorious thing to feel so comfortable with someone that you can tell them all of the good in your life in addition to all the bad. If you think about it, how many of your friends really want to hear the most wonderful things you have to tell them? There’s a lot of jealousy out there, is all I’m saying. And I admit I’m just as guilty. I’ve had friends I’ve been jealous of. Not a good feeling.
Anyway, I keep meeting all these great and funny and warm and fascinating people via my blog and other blogs, and I can barely keep myself from flitting off in every direction–”Will you be my friend? And will you? And can we go for coffee? And will you hang out with me and watch chick flicks all night?” I feel like I could spend my whole day reading all these great blogs and sending side e-mails to all my cyber friends. It’s such a feast.
Which is one of the reasons I’m thinking so seriously about this Fantasy (no longer fantasy) Potluck. Because maybe some of you feel the same way about a lot of the people we’ve all met via the blogs.
It’s why I love that question Eisha and Jules ask their interviewees on Seven Impossible Things: “Which blog or site would you take to the prom to show off and you love it so much you could marry it?”
My own question would be: “Which bloggers/commenters/e-mail friends do you like so much you wish they could all come over every day and be your second-best friends?”
My list would be so very, very long!
Does anyone else feel that way?
Technorati Tags: Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast, What Adrienne Thinks About That, Adrienne Furness, Best Friends, Friendship, Blog Relationships
Me me me!
Back a hundred years ago, when I was planning my wedding, I became part of a community online for wedding planning. Now, six or seven years and two or three different communities later, I still “hang out” with them daily. I’ve met a few of them in person and the funny thing is that there’s never an awkward silence, never a lack of things to talk about.
The potluck sounds really fun. If it’s in the summer, I vote for the place with the lowest concentration of mosquitoes. Living in the desert has made me soft.
Katie… by any chance are you a knottie???
When I first got engaged, I joined theknot.com and met a bunch of awesome women from my local board. A group of like each other so much that we actually created a MSN group where we hang out and talk all day long (while we’re at work)! It’s awesome! We go out to get sushi and Cold Stone Creamery. We go out dancing and drinking! These women are the greatest girlfriends ever! =)
And I really like the potluck idea, too! =)
Katie: Here in Seattle, WA I get on average 2 mosquito bites a year. When I went back East a few Augusts ago, I couldn’t stand it–Washington, D.C. is built on a swamp, after all. I don’t miss mosquitoes at all.
Robin: I’ll be one of your second-best friends! Or your third, or your fourth… nope, I’m holding out for second.
Yeah, Alkelda! I accept.
How’s Seattle in the fall? Potluck-wise?
Robin, it’s posts like these that make me want to be your best friend.
And yes, I know completely what you mean about all the wonderful people you “meet” online. I started reading blogs because I was curious, and wondered if I should have one of my one, and very quickly, I was blown away by the intelligence, wit, and kindness of so many bloggers and commenters. Where have these people been all my life???
I think a small bit of me wonders if it’s because of the nature of written conversation. My husband and I had a long distance relationship for two years, during which we wrote tons of letters. (no email existed) And it deepened our connection in ways that phone sessions never could. I still have all those letters, and occasionally read them.
That said, I think your blog is particularly good at fostering friendships, good conversation, and fun. You are a hostess of the highest caliber. I lift my glass to your “gathering place.”
Christen, the site was Ultimate Wedding… I was a member at The Knot — great info there, but I never got into the social aspects. I don’t even think UW exists anymore, actually. Or it got sold or something.
Sara, thanks for agreeing with all my mush. You said it better than I did–”Where have these people been all my life?” And while I appreciate the compliment about my hostessing, as with any party, it’s the guests who make it what it is. So I thank all of you.
I lift my glass, too! (to your gathering place, that is).
And I’m so glad you enjoy our interviews.
And, yes, it’s amazing how connected you can feel to all these long-distance folks. Then again, I prefer written communication anyway. I’d much prefer that to talking on the phone. Like Sara, I love getting old letters out.
I’d love to be a next-best friend. I do find that my visits here and to 7-Imp every week make me feel very friend-comfortable. I find your posts and all the commenters to be very warm and supportive, which is just fantastic.
Oh, and fun/funny, which is a minimum requirement for me in my bosom buddies.
I have that same feeling all the time in the blogosphere — so many cool people in the world. I’ve added you to my bloglines now, though, Robin, so I think we’re official.
Thanks, Adrienne. I’m glad you’ll come play with us here!
Nancy, I’m with you on the fun/funny minimmum requirement for friendship. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you?
DC bloggers aren’t (generally) the kind of people you’d like to hang out with a lot. All they do is talk shop, and you end up spending the whole night watching electoral math drawn on a napkin, including how the primaries are going to play out, and the number of delegates each candidate will go into the conventions with.
There are exceptions, of course, but they’re few and far between.
Yours is really the only blog I interact with.
Lizzie, I like the image of the napkins. But I can understand how once or twice would be enough of that.
Does that mean you can explain the electoral college to me?
Thanks for chatting on this blog. I’d miss it if you didn’t.
Hardcore Hottie Yogi scanned her sweaty students all feverishly working to maintain the Half Turtle DeathStrike pose.
“Please HC, just cut us some wind. It’s hot in here.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything, FG, but had you considered cutting back on the fleece workout suit instead?”
Fleece girl plunked down, taking three others with her, in shock of the idea of not wearing fleece.
“Just some air circulation, even pass gas or something,” said Fleece Girl in her delirium.
“Hush! Now, quick, into the Spitting Camel of Doom pose, before I bring in the Trolls. They’ll bring you some relief Fleece Girl,” said HC Hottie. “Why not wear just a golf skirt like Sara? That outfit really let’s her breath.”
HC Hottie clicked her remote and the large mirrored back wall slid open. In shambled the giant stinking grey mounds of fur.
“There’s some air circulation for you, FG”
HC Hottie heard a scream from her left and turned to find Nancy struggling with a grey shambling mound.
“Nancy, these are Mound Trolls from Arkon-4. Spinning Tree of Destruction! SPINNING TREE OF DESTRUCT—-”
and that was the last sentence from HC Hottie as she was promptly eaten by a Shambling Mound Troll from Archon-4.
No one ever admitted to seeing Fleece Girl use the Flying Half Moon Eagle of Prey Pose to fling the Mound Troll into Hardcore Hottie, but all agree that they heard her say “I wanted to be her second best friend, if there was some air circulation.”
Oh and I want to add: I love to bring people together. I just flippin’ love it. The interviews (blogger ones) do just that, I think. Also, I remember at one of our 7 Kicks list reading a comment from Robin about how she loved something Sara (Lewis Holmes) had said, and I *think* that was the first time they’d “talked,” and now Sara frequents this blog (I’d look this link up if I had time right now, but alas, I do not). I am NOT NOT taking credit for their friendship, but I do *think* that that’s how they “met” (am I right or wrong?). Anyway, IF it is true, isn’t that cool? I love stuff like that. I think the 7 Kicks lists do a good job of bringing us together.
(This is not to brag about 7-Imp — lots of other blogs do this, too. Just runnin’ my mouth here)….
Jules, you SHOULD take credit for bringing lots and lots of people together. 7 Imp is a fantastic, warm, wonderful blog, and you’ve made so many people (including me) happy there. So take your credit and wear it proudly.
And yes, I think it’s quite possible you brought Sara and me together. Sara? Do you remember?
Patrick: ****APLAUSE****
Isn’t the blogosphere awesome? I’m totally with you on all the great people out there. It makes blogging so fun!
Robin, I so love visiting your blog. So if you don’t mind, I’ll keep on visiting.
Vivian, I have a special spot for you right here on my couch. Please do visit as often as you like.
Yes, jules, you’re right! I checked back, and it was on the second 7-Imps list (I can’t believe there have been FOURTEEN already!) and Robin gave me props for my “pants with actual butts” line. So I admit it, robin lured me over here with a smooth little compliment… And then I was hooked…
Patrick: hoo boy, you made me laugh. I even read bits out loud to my husband. I’ve done hot yoga, too, and I wouldn’t dare bring a skirt in there.
Sara, as you know I also teach hot yoga, and I’d throw you out for wearing a skirt or for chewing gum. I’m just that hardcore myself. But I would turn on the fans. Oh, the humanity.
Robin, I’m right with you on the blog friends, second-best-friends thing. Your Tuesday and Friday posts, and the 7-Imps 7 Kicks and Interviews all help by generating regular opportunities for interaction and getting to know each other better. And of course, reading people’s blogs (as you noted with Adrienne) and commenting back and forth helps, too. I have a bunch of people who make me smile whenever I receive a comment or email from them.
I was trying to remember who we lost in the last Yoga story.
http://www.patiscool.org/2007/02/fleece-girl-teches-yoga.html
Found it.
I miss my best blog friends! (Like you, Robin, I have exactly one best real life friend. A tried and true to the end kind of friend.) I’ve been on the road, with spotty internet and a half-finished conference paper. Things should be better tomorrow
Patrick, I totally forgot about the B DONKA DONKs. Special. You’ve added to my life.
Jen and Kelly, yes! It really is a nice thing to have in our lives, isn’t it?
OMG. Friday in yoga, I’m gonna be trying to hold crow, and I’m gonna think “B Donka Donk” and YOU, Patrick, will be to blame for my burst of laughter and my subsequent broken nose. I’m suing you, too, Robin, for encouraging him.
rb,
dagger to the heart (not really). i’m glad to be your “best friend squared” (take that “real” best friend). i love ALL of my bestas friends and they really are, even though someone intimately associated with this blog has referred to me as a “best friend whore”, so be it. that said, i’d have to go with patrick. i love his sense of self, irreverent humor and his totally adorable kid. what’s not to love? nuf said.
It has indeed been a while since I have storied your blog.
ps. i dig b.j. to the max. if she can handle that. oh yeah.
Yes, that’s it, Sara! That was it! And I remember how I always thought all along that you guys would be good friends and reminded me of each other (two, smart, opinionated, funny women who are writers), so I wasn’t surprised to read Robin saying that to you. Oh it gives me a happy, warm fuzzy feeling to know that’s how you “met”!
There are so many, I don’t know where to begin. I already consider many of you friends.
i’d start with “a”.
I like people who are genuine. No matter what the situation, no matter if I know them online or in real life or both, no matter if they are performing or talking or laughing – just be honest, be true.
Annette- that’s so sweet! After reading that, I want to be my bestfriend, too. I seem so nice and lovable there and on top of that, I am incredibly goodlooking.
I need to spend more time with me and reading my blog.
BTW – Carrie has been talking about internet friends, too.
Hopefully link works…
yeah, that’s what i’m talking about with patrick. he’s like the lowest maintenance best friend out there–self sevice. he’ll probably even send himself a birthday card, so no heavy lifting.
Little Willow, I’m with you.
Heather, start with “a” for annette, because she obviously needs a sensible friend like you. Then add on the rest of us.
Sorry I’m late to this. But my corporeal friends all know that I’m late all the time, and generally forgive me, so hopefully my cyber friends will to.
I have also been pleasantly surprised by the warmth and congeniality I’ve encountered since I started blogging, and amazed at the real connection I feel to people I’ve never laid eyes on. I wonder if it’s a facet of written conversation, like Sara said, where all the small talk we’d go through if we met for the first time in person is stripped away. There’s something about writing that makes it easier to be honest and direct. And there are never any awkward pauses or other conversational hitches. And also we’re all here because we already have a shared interest – books. So I think it’s kind of like we get to skip a lot of the polite BS we do when meeting strangers in person, and skip right to the good stuff.
All right, we’re on comment 39 and no one has mentioned how much they want to be my best friend yet? What’s up with that?
Robin, I do feel like you’re my new best friend and I look forward to coming here and sharing my nice things I did for myself and seeing what you’re up too. It’s very cool.
And Eisha and Jules brought us together (and I love them in their own right, mind you) when I saw your best line “now I’m going to have to recut all the paper dolls” on their self interview.
But just like I don’t have one “real-life” best friend, I don’t have one blogger best friend. Though I do have some BFF (Blog Friends Forever).
Kelly is my touchstone on being a reading mom (and we’re going to meet in person in two days!). Betsy shares my sense of humor. Susan and Jen and Little Willow share my sense of community. And there are so many more bloggers that I like and visit and am getting to know.
Oh, and I think I would really like Patrick. Just from reading his comments I’ll say that. Just putting it out there. ‘Cause that’s how I roll.
Mother Reader, PLEASE be one of my BFFs.
You would like Patrick a lot. He will probably be everyone’s most BFF.
m.r., don’t you think you might be forgetting someone…
Robin: In Seattle, Fall is quite rainy. However, when it’s not rainy, it’s all lovely with Fall colors and crisp mountains. We rarely get snow (and when we do, it’s a major event in which 4 inches shuts the city down). We’re called the Emerald City because we’re green, green, green year round.
Well this post and these zillions a’ comments are just da bomb. I mean, I’m gonna have to link to this bit about friendship and really wanting the happiest of lives for each other. I mean, like, duh, Right??? ONLY, not! Some friendships just seem to be soaking in stuff so bitter that it’s almost formaldyhide. This is a beautiful manifesto, Robin, and so is Adrienne’s post that you linked to. Yee haw. BFF, Liz
I’m coming really late to the conversation – this week has been mad. But it’s such a lovely post I wanted to comment too
I’ve met lots of lovely friends through my blog (and before that, an internet mailing list). I’ve even met up in real life with people here in Australia! And swapped books with them, a great advantage to meeting people online who share your interests. And one of the things I’m looking forward to when I move to the UK is meeting more of my blog friends. And not just because I’ll need books to read to replace the ones I’m leaving here.
I promise that if I (miraculously without a ticket) win the lotto I’ll be at your party to catch up with all you US blogging folk.
PS: It’s possible I found your blog through the 7-imp interview, too. I think I remember that.
Annette, we’re all BFFs here. Worry not.
Alkelda, thanks, but I think we’re going to have to go with Chicago. Hope you can get a direct flight there.
Liz and Emma, thanks for joining in with your thoughts. I hope you can both come to a party so we can all be together for just one Saturday night. (Emma, start buying lottery tickets.)