Now if it were Kate Winslet’s . . .
Don’t get me wrong–I’m as much of a prude as the next person exactly like me–but I don’t see what the big deal is. Sure it’s a giant boob out there for all the world to gape at, but there is a baby attached to it, for heaven’s sake.
Baby Talk magazine has come under fire for this cover. Women all over the country are freaking out, saying they had to rip the cover off before their husbands saw it. Trust me, ladies, if the search engine statistics for this website are any indication, your husbands are out there looking for photos of Kate Winslet naked more often than you know. I don’t think they’re that interested in seeing a baby suckle.
Not that I’d be whipping it out in public even if I did have a baby screaming for it, but that’s a matter of personal choice. I don’t begrudge some nursing mother out there her chance to have even a moment’s peace while her child finds something else to do besides poop and cry and be cute all day. Repeat after me: If it makes you uncomfortable, LOOK AWAY.
Or is the issue really that women are afraid their husbands and boyfriends won’t look away? Well, if that’s it, you’d better take away their internet privileges, too.
And just a side note to you guys: we know when you’re looking. We know when you’re talking to our breasts and not us. You’re not subtle, you’re not smooth, you’re just pigs when you do that. So if you see a nursing mother in the mall or at your kids’ soccer game or at the doctor’s office, it really is your job to look away. If you need to stare longer, go grab the latest issue of Baby Talk and knock yourself out.
Technorati Tags: Baby Talk, Breast Feeding, Nudity, Kate Winslet
August 5th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Ok, first. I find breast feeding cool. Much in the same way I find pregnant women cool. I think it is a beautiful NON-SEXUAL thing. The problem is, being a guy, if I look in the general vicinity of a breast, I’m a pig.
So, since an early age I’ve had this drummed into me. Make eye contact with women. I’m generally pretty good at this. Even when I’m really curious about the stapler on the desk, I make sure that I make eye contact. I will say this, sometimes some guys are talking to your chest, some times we are just looking at your outfit with a ‘what not to wear’ eye and you think we are looking at your chest… Sometimes, we aren’t even looking at you at all, but you think we are looking at your chest. It’s a no win situation without eye contact…
So, what I need to tell you is the problem eye contact has caused me. I’ve been to about 4 gentlemen’s clubs or nudie bars if you prefer. I creep strippers out. This poor stripper dancing around on stage in front of me, shaking her booty, bends down to look between her legs at me and BAM! I can’t let her see me looking at her what-not, so I make eye contact… I’m creepy - what kind of guy goes to a strip club and then doesn’t look at the naked girls?
And still, as I mentioned before, this breast fascination is an American issue driven by the Puritan society that we live in. If breasts weren’t such a controlled commodity in the US, we would have breast-mania infecting so many men.
August 5th, 2006 at 9:54 am
Thanks. I just spit coffee onto my computer screen.
P.S. Patrick, would you please go get your own blog so we can all enjoy that?
August 5th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
that cover is soooo sweet. i’d be very worried if my husband was getting off on that as opposed to kate winslet naked (which, thanks to barry, he has been introduced to and as a result has become quite the umm, movie fan).
patrick i love your t**** bar story. a long time friend of mine, in fact former college roommate (male), was always and remains bemused by america’s love/hate relationship with the the state in which we all, or most of us, arrive in this world. he is famous (in our admittedly small corner of the universe) for a remark made to an exoctic dancer who, when she asked “do you want me to dance on your table”, he replied, “now why would i want you to do that.” or to quote my beloved husband when questioned about his opinion on topless sunbathing, “i just can’t get that excited about a couple of fried eggs.”
August 5th, 2006 at 1:36 pm
You know, Kate Winslet is a mother, so for all we know, that IS her breast.
As to “we know when you’re looking at our chests,” let me just say that men get screwed on this ROYALLY. Every conference I go to, people wear there name badges either pinned to their shirt/jacket or hanging around their necks. Meaning that the badge ends up right smack in the breast area. If you’re a man looking for a specific woman at one of these things, you’re screwed — you look like a damn pervert.
I once tried to find a female editor I knew by name, but not by appearance, at World Fantasy Con. Just my luck, she turned out to be young, attractive, and wearing a very low-cut dress, and there I am, staring at her cleavage because that’s where the name badge was and I needed to see if it was her or not…
Sigh.
August 5th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
I’m with you, Barry. Women fantasize about us looking at their chest.
August 5th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Actually, Barry, I see your point. I don’t know what to say or do about that. Probably can’t put nametags on foreheads. And sometimes the print on nametags and badges is so small you really have to squint and stare (as you experienced for yourself).
I’m open to suggestions.
August 5th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
my suggestion (to barry and patrick): if you ever run into rb at a function and she is wearing a cheap stick-on “hello i’m…” name tag (you know the ones that always curl up on you) over her left breast (i’m assuming she’s right-handed) be gentlemanly enough to smooth down the corners for her so other guys don’t have to look so intently to make out who she is. (no don’t ask first, that would only draw attention and embarrass her). this will win you beaucoup brownie points, trust me.
August 5th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Thank you, Annette.
August 5th, 2006 at 5:34 pm
I put nametags on my belt buckle and then get offended when women check my package…
August 5th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
excuse me, are you referring to “patrick’s area”? (does it have its own website?)
August 5th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
Annette,
Funny you should suggest that — that’s EXACTLY how Robin and I met!
August 5th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
patiscool.org
Have you seen the movie yet? What DB does with his balls is amazing. I spent months practicing afterwards. You’ll want to do that with your balls, too.
August 5th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
So before I was a glamorous novelist, I was a very unglamorous events editor for a small branch of an alt-weekly. Part of my job was to pick cover art for the branch issue based on the events of the week. Well, one week, in this small artsy tourist town, there was this gallery opening of photographs by a body painter. Really really gorgeous photographs of people (naked) painted to look like various things in nature — streams, trees, fields of flowers, etc. The pictures sent along with the press release were truly stunning. I very carefully chose one in which all the naughty bits were covered. You saw back, calves, shoulders and faces and that was it. It was a damn sight less revealing than that Britney Spears pregnant cover on newstands right now. Plus, they were PAINTED and it was on newsprint so for all the casual observer could see, it was people in leotards.
Anyway, the complaints were LEGION. I got nasty letters from some little league team who regularly went for post-game pizza at this one joint that had a dump outside. The pizza joint canceled their dump, We lost about ten advertisers and seven locations. I was shocked. My boss was shocked. The whole paper was shocked.
Stupid Puritans.
August 5th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
i marvel at the public’s acceptance, dare i say enjoyment, of main stream media’s leering objectification of women that is nothing short of pornographic as far as i’m concerned (which by the way includes victoria secret’s advertising and sport’s illustratred swimsuit edition)–while exposing the human body as art, erotica or just the bumpy, lumpy mass of hair bespotted flesh that it is so threatening to our “puritan” sensibilities.
ps glamorous novelist–got your glamorous novel (amazon). read it, very saucy, very enjoyable–you should be very proud of yourself.
August 6th, 2006 at 6:17 am
I think all the uproar from insecure women is ludicrous.
I have taught my children that breast-feeding is normal. They don’t freak out when they see other women feeding their babies.
Behavior is learned.
I wish the uptight moral police would relax and learn to control something else other than the rest of society should. Why don’t they learn to control their own reactions?
August 6th, 2006 at 6:17 am
that would be…the rest of society.
Coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.
August 6th, 2006 at 7:24 am
I think it incredibly sad that US women are so insecure that they feel threatened by this very innocent image. And it’s even worse that they’ve guilt tripped their husbands into feeling guilty for looking at it.
And Barry? I find that whole nametag thing at conventions to be a very convenient excuse for you guys . . .
August 6th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
BJ,
If it was only an excuse, I’d only go around looking for cute women.
August 6th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
bj, you caught us. Conventions are just a clever ruse to give us PigMen an excuse to look at women’s chests during casual conversation.