Comments on: Ten percent, no matter what

By: robin

robin — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 03:48:47 +0000

Ha!

By: bj

bj — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 01:36:47 +0000

I use a somewhat different approach with the 10%. I get the 90% to beat them up. Works well for me!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 02:51:52 +0000

This is a great conversation! You all have such great things to say.

Barry: You’re awesome for winning over that 10 percent! I don’t think I could do it

MR: You KNOW I feel your pain and think you rock.

Robin: Not sure about the inlaw thing, though I think my mom-in-law–who loves and adores me does have that icky 10 percent in her somewhere. The key is to know when, why, and what the consequences will be. (Fortunately, my husband has the same experiences, so I’m not alone here.)

Vivian: Funny, funny, funny!

By: robin

robin — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 02:50:52 +0000

Vivian, you CRACK ME UP! I’m always into fart jokes. Thanks for meeting my needs. And thanks for the other, non-fart, advice.

Diana, obviously with your attitude you attract lots and lots of friends. So you mean any of us can be your BFF, too?

By: Diana

Diana — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 02:29:00 +0000

I’m pretty much ready to make friends with anyone who is nice to me, so I’m always rendered speechless by any accusations that I’m part of a clique. My friends who are more… um, let’s say “discerning” than I am are always agog at my “yes! let’s ALL OF US be BFFs” attitude, but whatever.

I’m sure it’s a corollary that when it occurs to me that those 10% are out there, I get this big “does not compute” sign blinking in my internal CPU.

By: Vivian

Vivian — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 00:19:03 +0000

Sometimes the best thing one can do is to be as outrageous as possible just to give the surly 10% something good to gripe about…I mean talk about later on. Otherwise, it’s no fun.

I think people who attend a presentation are there because they are truly interested in the topic. Otherwise they wouldn’t take the time to attend.

This 10% could just be concentrating really hard on what you have to say. Maybe they’re having a bad botox reaction or had a big fight with a loved one. Or maybe they’re just having a bad case of gas and are just trying to hold it all in, for their sake and yours. Just remember, these people are there because they are truly interested in what you have to say.

Just wow all of them and keep the distance, in case it is the gas.

By: robin

robin — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 20:11:04 +0000

Sounds like a workable plan to me. Thanks, Deborah.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 20:07:15 +0000

It’s always easiest to convince people of what they already know or believe. If they think you are a jerk, they will scrutinize every thing about you to confirm that belief. I think the only people you can ‘win over’ are people who are having a transient bad day, or who are truly ‘open minded’ the latter fairly rare. Moral? Stick to the 90% who don’t have an ax to grind to grind with the world and ignore/tolerate the 10%

By: robin

robin — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:51:53 +0000

Mother Reader, you can be on that topic as long as you like, as far as I’m concerned. It’s just so weird, it seems to need sorting out.

Katie, welcome! You’re right about learning to move on. That’s an acquired skill, though. Many’s the time I’ve kept trying and trying, beating my head against a wall, before saying it’s not worth it.

Barry, yeah, but I think that just happens on its own–I’m not sure if tap dancing harder and faster works. Maybe something shifts in the person and they think, “Oh, he’s not such a jerk after all.” Or maybe the person was just passing a stone, and finally it’s through and he can smile again.

By: Barry

Barry — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 17:09:29 +0000

Yeah, but here’s the thing about that one surly person in the crowd: Sometimes you can win that person over.

And that is the single greatest feeling in the world.