Comments on: The morality of fat http://robinbrande.com/life/the-morality-of-fat For writers, readers, and independent thinkers--book talk for readers and writers, life chats when we need them, writers' motivational articles, secret behind-the-scenes stories from the publishing trenches, and more. Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:26:16 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: bj http://robinbrande.com/life/the-morality-of-fat#comment-85 bj Sun, 14 May 2006 22:50:30 +0000 http://robinbrande.com/life/the-morality-of-fat#comment-85 Annette, you are SO smart! I don't meet many men, so I've been "internet dating" for awhile. I never discriminate because of weight. However, one of the things that will KILL any chance of moving things forward with me is lying about it- whether that photo was taken two years and 80 pounds ago, or whether the guy describes himself as "average" when he's a minimum of 80 pounds over any interpretation of what normal should be for his height and frame. Why? Because if he can't see himself clearly and can't be honest with himself, then how is he going to function in a relationship with me? It's never the weight that's the problem for me, it's all the baggage that sometimes, and maybe even often, goes with it. Annette, you are SO smart!

I don’t meet many men, so I’ve been “internet dating” for awhile. I never discriminate because of weight. However, one of the things that will KILL any chance of moving things forward with me is lying about it- whether that photo was taken two years and 80 pounds ago, or whether the guy describes himself as “average” when he’s a minimum of 80 pounds over any interpretation of what normal should be for his height and frame. Why? Because if he can’t see himself clearly and can’t be honest with himself, then how is he going to function in a relationship with me?

It’s never the weight that’s the problem for me, it’s all the baggage that sometimes, and maybe even often, goes with it.

]]> By: annette http://robinbrande.com/life/the-morality-of-fat#comment-84 annette Sun, 14 May 2006 03:08:36 +0000 http://robinbrande.com/life/the-morality-of-fat#comment-84 i thought a bit before responding, but robin didn't answer the question(s) yourself? didn't you say you "panic" that you might revert to that poor acne faced girl wearing a men's size extra large? not that you might revert to that "big boned girl from southern alberta" who could tear up the dance floor. the issue as far as i'm concerned is self-respect. don't expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself. my dearest friend from college always was and still is a plus sized woman. she is also beautiful (yes on the inside too). she is well grooomed, well dressed, and most importantly has never put her life on hold until she loses 20, 10, 15 you pick it, pounds. she has always lived in the moment being the best she can be and guess what, people treat her exactly like she treats herself,as capable, competent and worthy of respect. in our younger years i used to complain how long she took to get ready when we'd go out--her reply, "when you're the biggest thing in the room you damn well better look good." so if you are FAT, so what. work at being healthy and do EVERYTHING. eat dinner with your family, go swimming with your kids, get naked in the hot tub with your spouse (or whoever), go on that cruise, get the size larger or two size larger ski pants and do it, wear a tuck-in shirt or strapless dress--but mostly get it through you head that those who love you, want you right now, just as you are, not 20 0r 10 or 25 pounds from now. stop hating yourself. respect not only yourself but those who love you. i thought a bit before responding, but robin didn’t answer the question(s) yourself? didn’t you say you “panic” that you might revert to that poor acne faced girl wearing a men’s size extra large? not that you might revert to that “big boned girl from southern alberta” who could tear up the dance floor. the issue as far as i’m concerned is self-respect. don’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. my dearest friend from college always was and still is a plus sized woman. she is also beautiful (yes on the inside too). she is well grooomed, well dressed, and most importantly has never put her life on hold until she loses 20, 10, 15 you pick it, pounds. she has always lived in the moment being the best she can be and guess what, people treat her exactly like she treats herself,as capable, competent and worthy of respect. in our younger years i used to complain how long she took to get ready when we’d go out–her reply, “when you’re the biggest thing in the room you damn well better look good.” so if you are FAT, so what. work at being healthy and do EVERYTHING. eat dinner with your family, go swimming with your kids, get naked in the hot tub with your spouse (or whoever), go on that cruise, get the size larger or two size larger ski pants and do it, wear a tuck-in shirt or strapless dress–but mostly get it through you head that those who love you, want you right now, just as you are, not 20 0r 10 or 25 pounds from now.
stop hating yourself. respect not only yourself but those who love you.

]]>