Comments on: This weekend’s hiking debate

By: robin

robin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:13:49 +0000

Yeah, MJG, you know I hear that.

By: MJG

MJG — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:06:28 +0000

No doubt in my mind, avoidance wins out above all other options. Why be honest and reveal what is really on your mind or bugs you? You are entitled to your own gripes or discomforts but the best part is not to let that irritating person know what thoughts go on behind your tinted glasses.

My personal strategy is bury a gripe away from your daily living and in a few months, years, pull it out and see if it still pisses you off. By then, you may have gained some insight or new tolerance and can deal with the ‘one who irritates you’ or put it away again for a few more years. I have a few vaults that I keep separated and look at them now and then. Mostly, I keep them in the vault. This way, I can have a good time and not be slowed down by those who bug me. Mature? I doubt it, but who cares?

By: robin

robin — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 13:49:02 +0000

Nancy, you, too, definitely win over me in the maturity department. Thanks for your input!

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 04:10:45 +0000

Robin, I’m also in a third camp. I would go, because I wouldn’t want to sacrifice the time with people I do care about. I wouldn’t put up with bad behavior, but I might find fun and subtle ways to respond to it. So rather than direct confrontation, I might put on my biggest smile and my most sparkly voice and my least aggressive demeanor, and then use my love of and skill with language to absolute crush my foe. Crush in a good way — all sweetness and light and you’d never know I’d actually done it, but later you’d have second thoughts about whether you really wanted to be a horse’s ass to me again.

Ah, life with language is a good thing.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 02:09:09 +0000

Annette has spoken.

By: robin

robin — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:38:39 +0000

“for just run-of -the-mill pain in the ass stuff, get over it, do the dishes”.

Annette, that’s some profound stuff. Seriously. Sigh. I have so much to work on.

By: annette

annette — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:30:53 +0000

i learned long ago that there are some things you do in this life for one reason and one reason only–the person or persons you profess to love asked you to. the request may or may not be verbal, but you definitely got the message. so suck it the f*** up and do it, and do it graciously. it’s what 2, 3 maybe even 4 hours out of your life. so what. i’m not saying you don’t “correct” boorish behavior, “i’d really perfer it if you don’t french me everytime we meet”, or “if you what to get your,’racist’, ‘anti-semetic’,’sexist’, stride on, it’s time for us to say bye-bye”. but for just run-of -the-mill pain in the ass stuff, get over it, do the dishes. also be open to the fact that by shutting these people down, or out, you may be missing out on a potentially valuable relationship. that’s where herb’s valuable suggestion comes in.

if you try the honesty route and there is something at the core worth nurturing or salvaging, it will come out. if not, nothing lost.
quig is right, life is short, so never miss the opportunity to let your loved ones know you support them, no matter how much uncomfortable baggage they might bring to the relationship.

By: robin

robin — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:19:25 +0000

Great, Heather. Sounds like I’ll be seeing you at the lake this summer.

By: Heather Harper

Heather Harper — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 21:16:08 +0000

Camp 1 is my homebase. I do have a time-share in Camp 2, but often sell it to interested parties when I don’t feel like vacationing there.

By: robin

robin — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:50:01 +0000

Ha, Laura! Glad you like me here. I’m really awful in person.

I’m loving this discussion. So many great insights. Thanks a lot. You’ve all given me A LOT to think about.