Throwing out 50 bits of mental clutter
Wow. Last night I read this article by Gail Blanke from Real Simple that Sara linked to in her comment yesterday, and wow.
Apparently cleaning my desk isn’t enough. It’s time to clean my mind.
Please read the whole article, but the part that made the big impression on me was this:
“Now that you’re all warmed up, start thinking about your mental throwaways. Add those to your list of clutter. (Yes, you can include them in the 50. You may even have more.) Throw out the regrets and the resentments, the resignation. Let go of the fear of failing or the fear of succeeding. Let go of the times when you came up a bit short. Let go of the voices that remind you of your so-called limitations.”
At first I thought I couldn’t possibly come up with 50 mental things to get rid of, could I?
Oh, yeah.
Because as crowded and messy as my office was before I tackled that this week? My brain is a good hundred times worse. Seriously.
Old attitudes from childhood. From high school. From law school. Damaging ideas about people and success and food and fat and blech–all sorts of things. Some grudges that are WAY past overdue. That list of people who I actively avoid because seeing them gets my fur up.
The shyness I still feel at parties. My belief that only X people get Y, and I’m not X, so forget it. My theories about how other people should act and feel in all sorts of circumstances, when really it’s none of my business.
Yeah, I don’t think coming up with 50 will be a problem.
But listing them isn’t enough. Apparently I have to start throwing them out, one by one. Curses.
Okay, okay, so in keeping with my habit of exposing my failings here in hopes that you guys will keep me honest and motivate me to change, I hereby declare today to be the day that I deal with this one:
You know I gave up chocolate, right? But sometimes a girl just feels like a little chocolate. Not a lot, but some. Like a Cadbury Easter egg or something. Or that delicious-looking tiramisu that was served at one of the dinners on my tour a few weeks ago, but I said no, and then watched so sadly while other people enjoyed theirs, and I had dessert, too, but it just didn’t touch that spot in my soul that the tiramisu would have.
But I gave up chocolate ten months ago because I had been eating so much of it I felt like I was doing myself harm. So, true to my life of extremes, I couldn’t just gracefully cut back, but had to give it all up. I figured it was an addiction, and you can’t mess around with those.
But today I’d like to get rid of the piece of mental clutter that says if I have a little chocolate, I’ll suddenly being calling Cadbury and having them back their truck up to my house. I don’t ever want to go back to eating as much of it as I was, but a little every now and then seems like a gentle enough reward for being just another human making my way here on earth. You know?
So there you go. I’m plucking out that bit of clutter and carrying it all the way out to the trash in the alley where I won’t be tempted to dig it out again.
Anyone else want to give up some mental clutter today?
Technorati Tags: Real Simple, Gail Blanke, Simplification, Simplify Your Life, Decluttering, Mental Decluttering, Mental Clutter, Self-Improvement, Chocolate, Can I Have That Tiramisu Moment Back?
April 7th, 2007 at 6:26 am
RIGHT ON (re your chocolate news)! All things in moderation . . .
April 7th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Robin,
Since I’m the one who pointed you to this article, I feel a need to shred some mental trash with you. (or is this feeling of obligation another wad of garbage?)
Anyway, here goes. I’m throwing away the bit of my brain that says there’s always somebody to blame when things go wrong. And that it’s useful to find out who.
So there it goes, that hulking lump of outdated decor, right into the landfill. Sorry, Mother Earth!
April 7th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Wow, Sara, that’s a biggie. You’re a lot more advanced than I am. I wasn’t willing to let go of that one until at least my eighteenth week of the program.
Good for you.
April 7th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Well, I don’t think it’s going to STAY gone. After I threw it out, it got up on its little hind legs and walked back in as soon as my husband told me the wrong way to get home from the car dealer. “But you SAID to turn AFTER the bridge!!!”
Luckily, by the time I got home, I had had time to throw out the garbage yet again, and we laughed about it. Bless him, he totally understands my directional disability.
April 7th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
You know, I was wondering about the “former chocolate addict” thing, and how such a thing would be possible. Thanks for sharing! Congratulations on re-discovering moderation in all things chocolate. I once had to give it up for a month (a special diet for a medical test), and it never got any easier.
As for my own mental clutter, what I would like to throw away is this thing where I worry about things ahead of time that can’t be changed anyway. For instance, I’m constantly stressing about upcoming trips (travel is not my favorite thing, and I’ll lie awake thinking about how I’m not going to be able to get enough sleep while I’m at such and such place, and so on). The stress causes me to not be able to relax and enjoy the time that I am at home (drinking red wine and reading great books, as discussed yesterday), which I know is crazy. So that would be my mental clutter to throw away - worrying about things in the future that I can’t change anyway. Not sure how I’ll do with that, but I will try.
April 7th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Jen, that’s a really good one to get rid of. And a tough one. It’s that illusion of control, you know? As if worrying about something means you’re at least doing something about it. Illogical, but understandable.
I think we all probably do that to some extent. Thanks for articulating it so I can add it to my list.
April 8th, 2007 at 4:58 am
Does this mean we’re changing the header graphic AGAIN? *grin*
April 8th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Great idea. I’m going to make such a list myself! And get rid of some things.
Last year, I did manage to accomplish a big one (one that’s related to yours in a way, Jen). Here’s the deal. I’m a horrible procrastinator, but only in one area–bureaucracy. I hate writing memos, letters, proposals, that sort of thing. Things I have to do when I find myself Department Chair (last year, next year, alas.) What I found myself doing was saying, “I’ll do it first and get it out of the way like normal people do.” But what would I do? Obsess over it for 2 weeks and still not finish it until the day before. In the meantime it would negatively effect everything that I like to do.
So now I put dread tasks on the calendar for the day before deadline and vow not to worry about it until then. On that day I allow myself whatever it takes to get it done–a nap, a glass of wine, a walk. It works for me and I haven’t missed a deadline yet.
Another great topic, Robin.
April 8th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Kelly, what I love about that idea is the decision not to obsess or worry about something until its appointed day. Boy, could I use that method. I’ve had this thing hanging over my head for weeks, and rather than just handle it, I’ve let it fester and bother me every day.
Whereas if I’d just said, “La di da, I’ll think about that on Tuesday,” I would have been SO much happier. Thanks for the suggestion!
April 8th, 2007 at 11:40 am
I like that suggestion, too, Kelly. I’ll have to see if I can make it work for my situation, too. So my resolution becomes something concrete, like “I will not do anything to prepare for a trip until the day before, or even think about the trip until the day before.” I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull it off, but I would like to try. Thanks!
April 8th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Sara - It’s best to just blame me. It’s actually one of the responsibilities of a Space Lord.
Sorry you missed your turn. My bad.
April 8th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
“It’s best to just blame me.” Do you have bumper stickers of that? I’ll take one. Two. As many as you’ve got.
April 9th, 2007 at 7:42 am
The blessing of moderation is peace.
Now I must go read the article. Thanks for passing it on.
April 9th, 2007 at 9:42 am
I’m thinking bumperstickers could be arranged. After all, I am a Space Lord and CafePress exists.
April 9th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Robin, this is a great idea. You’re right though that listing the mental clutter is way easier than dealing with it. Bravo to you and your chocolate reprieve — I am a big fan of letting yourself enjoy things. I think I’ve mentioned I’ve lost over 50 pounds since July, and you know what? I’ve had chocolate almost every single day. Just not a LOT.
April 10th, 2007 at 8:08 am
Nancy, congratulations on both counts–the weight loss and the chocolate!
April 10th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
I’m always thinking. I’ve always considered, memorized, categorized, and studied everything. All subjects interested me in school. I’ve had people say I retain too many inane bits of trivia. I could just as easily talk about the possibility of time travel or the concept of entropy as I could wax on about my favorite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the many wonderful things about Nick Carraway and The Great Gatsby. My brain is always busy.
There are a lot of things I can’t throw out, like my endless worrying, my need for order, my desire to control as much of my life as I possibly can, and other things along those lines. Can’t? Won’t? That’s another story, I suppose.
April 10th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Oo, Little Willow, you may be a tough case.
Can you throw out some of the names of your old dolls? Some old telephone numbers you memorized? Come on! Work with us!
April 10th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Eegads Robin! I’ve barely made a dent in the clutter at home, and now I have to clean out the clutter in my brain? 50 things!?
April 10th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
I know, Vivian. It’s getting kind of out of hand, isn’t it? I keep coming across these great suggestions for making life easier, and somehow they just seem to add to people’s stress!
Let me see what I can do about that. Post to come . . .