Young man seeks shelter
I was walking past the Crested Butte post office today, and saw this notice on the bulletin board:
YOUNG MAN SEEKS SHELTER. FOR HE AND HIS DOG.
Yes, all you English majors, I see the improper use of “he,” but don’t you think this note has style? I mean, if you had a room, wouldn’t you want to give this guy a chance?
Crested Butte is my favorite mountain town. It’s small enough and hard enough to get to that it hasn’t gone the way of Vail or Aspen, which are lovely places, but I’m sorry, I don’t have the right clothes for them. Whereas in CB, it’s jeans and fleece and down coats, the townies ride bikes (yes, in the snow) with baskets on the front of them to carry back groceries, everyone has at least one dog, and no one believes in leashes (except me, much to Bear’s dismay) (I also appear to be the only person who picks up dog poop out of the snow. But it’s like Laura’s comment last week about how she can’t not return the grocery cart. I can’t not pick up the steamers) (especially if people are looking).
Plus, as I’ve already mentioned, Crested Butte has the best coffee in the world, so this is pretty much heaven for me.
I met a woman yesterday who just moved here over the summer, and right away she knew this was where she wanted to stay. “Because no one gets in your business,” she said. Which is a consideration for her, because the city she left was where she grew up, and the friends she left are the ones who have been all over her about how she’s not living her life right.
Why? Because she has a non-traditional job. Actually, several jobs. But that’s how people survive in mountain towns. The guy on ski patrol also grabs shifts at the bakery and the bar. Your massage therapist also paints houses and pet sits. A little financial juggling is the price people are willing to pay to be able to live places where they can play hard all year long.
So anyway, this woman was telling me that the big problem for all her old friends is that she–and they–are 47, whereas her new boyfriend is–
Let me back up. This is a really quality woman. Bright, spirited, energetic, fully in love with life. She’s bold enough to start over again after financial disaster a few years ago. And she’s brave enough to move to a new town where she doesn’t know anyone, just because one of her children asked her to come out and live closer to where he was.
Just trust me that this is the kind of woman that you’d love to sit and talk to for an afternoon, because she has so many creative ideas and such a passion for life it’s hard to resist.
So anyway, her boyfriend is 23. And what’s more interesting, the woman’s 23-year-old son is the one who fixed them up.
And now they really love each other. The woman and her boyfriend don’t feel weird about it, nor do the woman’s sons, who are all around that same age. It helps, she said, that her boyfriend only became friends with her son a while ago. “I didn’t see him growing up, and I don’t know his mama.” So everything is right with her world.
Except this one little thing: her friends CAN’T STAND IT. They tell her how stupid she is, how disgusting it is, how foolish, how short-sighted, whatever.
But, as she pointed out to me, she can’t help noticing that they’re all on various anti-depressants and sleeping pills and other aids to get them through their “normal, respectable” lives.
I don’t know when it happened, but I just don’t care about this stuff anymore. I used to make it my job to decide what everyone else should do–friends and strangers alike–and spend lots and lots of time analyzing and critiquing their performances in life.
And now? Yawn.
What business is it of mine? Or her friends’, for that matter? She’s happy, the boyfriend is happy, they’re both over 18, they’re both single, so why is this such a big deal? I have enough faults and flaws of my own to keep my busy for at least the next century, so I don’t see how I can spare too much time to weigh in on whether this woman should only date men over 40.
Besides, like the sign says, young man seeks shelter. Forty-seven-year-old woman, too. I say if you’ve found love, embrace it. It might not last a year, it might last a decade–the point is, if it’s here–if you love somebody and he or she loves you back–well, hot dog. Good for you. Enjoy it.
Don’t you think?
Technorati Tags: Relationships, Love, Romance, May-December Romance, Crested Butte, Camp 4 Coffee
March 7th, 2007 at 6:27 am
I know that I’m darn sick of the many many rules I’ve seen friends put on who they will date, and then wonder why they are single.
I have a friend who will only date within her profession. I have another who will only date within her profession, but not within her specialty, or within her circle of professional acquaintances.
I have a friend who is a lawyer who started dating a guy without a college degree. When all her friends told her she was “slumming” she ignored them. She married the guy and they are incredibly happy. Those friends were not really her friends.
I probably wouldn’t date someone twice my age (and I definitely wouldn’t date someone half my age, because that would be illegal), but that’s just me. And I may feel differently at 47.
March 7th, 2007 at 7:06 am
D, those lists who’s datable crack me up. You almost need a flow chart. Love the happy ending of the girl who “slummed.”
March 7th, 2007 at 7:43 am
Last year my 22 year old brother dated a 36 year old woman. She had a 16 year old daughter. My mom was freaking, but I thought it was kind of funny. I even told the family if he broke up with the mom he could date the daughter!!! =) No one else saw the humor. Oh well…
It didn’t work out. They were in two different stages of life, but I think it was cool that they gave it a chance. How else are you going to know if you don’t try?
My three year anniversary with my fiance is coming up in 6 days! That just blows my mind! I don’t think people really expected us to work out, but despite our major differences, we work! And he has a cute butt!!!
I *love* love!!
March 7th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Christen, your comments always make me smile. You’re such a ray of sunshine.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Hahaha… thank you! =)
Hmmmm… my other half was watching boxing last night and I decided that I want a cool “boxing name”. You know… like Raymond “The Razor” Ventura… or John “The Giant” Smith!! I told him he had to start calling me Christen “The Sweetness” Orbanus… and he had to make sure to remember the “The”. That was important. But now I like “The Ray of Sunshine”. That has a nice ring to it. I’ll have to think about this!
Oh, and it started snowing in NJ (Yay!), so I got bored and made a video of my dog playing in the beautiful Jersey snow! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avg3dvrsYas It’s not a very good video, but it’s cute. Stitches *loves* snow!!
March 7th, 2007 at 8:40 am
How refreshing.
Don’t you just get sick of uppityness?
March 7th, 2007 at 9:01 am
As Ayn Rand wrote, By my life and my love for it, I will not live my life for another man nor ask another man to live their life for me.
As far as I’m concerned if your action does not harm another human go for it. If two people go into a relationship with eyes wide open, its theirs to go for it. As long as it is open, consensual and informed relationship.
March 7th, 2007 at 10:06 am
This is all part of a scheme for 23 year olds to take over the world.
Yeah, we got a memo stating we were supposed to date older, influential people (politicians, millionaires, YA writers, etc.) because the world does not respect us because of our age.
The campaign began with Anna Nicole Smith in 1991. You thought she just wanted to be a stripper - go on; it was all part of this quest for world domination.
I am proud to be an active participant.
March 7th, 2007 at 11:39 am
Christen, I would have thought “The Pink-Haired Librarian” was a good enough nickname for you. I say keep that.
Herb, lovely quote.
Heather, yes, I do. It is just plain uppityness, isn’t it?
Molly, I appreciate your honesty, but aren’t you going to get thrown out of the club now for revealing its secrets?
March 7th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Wow, that’s some age difference, but hey — if people are happy, who the hell are we to bug them about it?
When I was in Alaska a few years ago, I took a bus tour of Denali National Park. The tour guide/bus driver, it turns out, had a Ph.D in biology. And she drove a bus. And said, “Look at the rabbits.”
And you know what? She was happy beyond belief. She said to me, “I’m not doing what I trained to do my whole life, but I get to live in Alaska.”
I noticed that EVERYONE in Alaska that I met was happy. The guy who loaded my luggage onto the train. The waiters and waitresses. The guy who ran the bed and breakfast where I stayed. Everyone. Not a sullen look or a glare among them. They were all happy to be living in Alaska.
Something to be said for that.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Good for her! I wish I had a twenty-three year old boyfriend. Oh, wait. I’m married. I shouldn’t say that.
(but i still kinda wish it.)
March 7th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Yeah, Barry, exactly. That’s what I’ve seen, too.
Mother Reader, ha! Personally, I prefer my men older, but I’m guessing you’re not the only one with that reaction (married or not).
March 7th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
“Don’t you think?”
Yes. I do. I’m pretty much a “nose OUT” of others’ business person, and however rarely it happens, I appreciate the return favor.
Living in this tiny town though, I just have to do what I want and have a reasonably cavalier attitude about the fallout. I didn’t grow up here, but husband grew up 40 miles down the road, and many of the people who have homes here (summer homes) are people he’s known since childhood. I know he occasionally gets the “can’t you keep her under control” stuff, but he’s pretty good about validating me, regardless that his background “culture” would presuppose the opposite….
March 7th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Herb, that’s always been my favorite quote from Ayn Rand. It’s a validation of everything I believe.
March 7th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Sounds to me like a great set-up for a novel!
March 7th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
I’ve caught the kid’s stomach flu-I am so far from being “datable” today, although I’m quite available. But I am quite willing to let anybody out there date/love/marry anybody else they want to because flu or no, it’s not my business where/with whom anybody finds their happiness. I think people who want to put restrictions or rules on other people’s happiness, are very unhappy/disatisfied people themselves.
March 7th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Deborah, I’m so sorry! That’s no fun at all. Can’t believe you dragged yourself out of bed to weigh in on this, but I’m glad you did. That last line sounds perfectly accurate.
Vc, nice of your husband not to keep you under control. Extra points for him. It’s so nice to be liked just as you are, huh?
Laura, take it away. Write that one and we’ll all read it.
March 7th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Robin, Clearly it should be the goal of this blog and commenters to find a suitable date for Deborah, with no restrictions on the search.
I vote Barry. I think he’s an excellent choice.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Eww, Deborah, that’s no fun…. we had the intestinal gremmies in January - absolutely the sickest either of us had been in maybe 10 years. We’re not good about illness in this house, and with that long a stretch…. well, suffice it to say it was NOT nice….
I hope you recover quickly - for one thing, if one is sick and there are children in the home, one simply doesn’t just “get to be sick”…. long time gone for me (thank the Lady!), but I do remember….
March 8th, 2007 at 9:39 am
I totally, absolutely (and all those other words I can’t think of right now) agree with your new CB friend. I decided several years ago that life was way too short and if you wanted to do things or see new places that you had to make it happen yourself. At times, it took more balls than I ever thought I had, but in the end, I can say without hesitation the second half of my life has been full of adventures—-including meeting lots of new people that I would have ignored in my ‘old life’. If anyone out there is holding back or has a slight hesitation to make big changes in your life—-my advice–GO FOR IT!!!