Your reunion policy
I’m sure a lot of you saw Adrienne’s report a few days ago about her high school reunion. And maybe some of you, like me, thought, “High school reunion. Shudder.”
Not that I hated high school–I loved parts of it enough to keep wanting to write about them in my novels–but I sort of feel like the people I wanted to be friends with still, I am (my best friend is the one I’ve had since my sophomore year), and the ones I said goodbye to–well, I’m okay with that.
Same with law school. I bear no one from there any ill will, but I don’t feel a burning need to see most of them anymore. I kept the friends I bonded with, and I hope everyone else is happy, but I don’t really need to get together over drinks and pork every decade to find out whether they are.
You know what I mean?
But I realize individual tastes may vary. A friend of mine went to a high school that has reunions every five years. And he always goes. Doesn’t seem like that gives people enough time to gain a bunch of weight, lose a lot of hair, or have multiple marriages. Sort of takes the fun out of it, no?
So here are my questions: who has gone to their class reunions, who has loved it, who’s regretted it, who has claimed to have invented Post-It notes, etc.? And is it possible that any of you have hooked up with an old boyfriend/girlfriend there, and now the two of you live happily ever after? I’m a sucker for reunion romances.
Technorati Tags: What Adrienne Thinks About That, High School Reunions, Class Reunions, I’m Janeane Garofalo in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion–You?
I went to my 10 year reunion.
I couldn’t convince my friends that I still have from high school to go. I still hang out with 4 guys from high school and occasionally with another 4-8 more from high school.
None of them went to the reunion but me.
It wasn’t bad. I still had two grudges going. 1 against me, 1 of mine. At the time, I kept my deep seated hatred of Paul, who clearly wanted to talk to me and I blew off.
I should have let it go and been a bigger man.
The other was my high school girl friend(A year behind me, but married into my graduating class). She still hates me. Still. Even now, mention me and she will burn with anger. At least I assume. If we come across each other, she won’t look at me. Oh well. My bad. I acknowledge that.
The weird thing about the reunion, and I assume this only happens to guys, was the bathroom urinals. Talk about urinal etiquette violation. Try minding your own business and staring at the wall ahead of you only to hear “Pat? DUDE! What have you been up to?”
Anyway, I’m not going to another unless my support team goes. It was still pretty clicky except for the urinals…
My 20 year is this October, and I haven’t been to one so far. If I was going to haul it back to Virginia (from Texas) to go, it would be for the 20 year. I like to hope that 20 years out most of the people who were … well, the way they were, may have changed. But I remember one of my friends telling me that they hadn’t.
My Aunt is going to her 60 year this July. As she says, by the time you get to 60 years, you just want to go to see which old folks are still alive.
Nice Romy and Michele reference. 3 points for you, Robin.
I have to admit that this year’s reunion was better than last’s. Last year’s was really small and everyone who went was local and it turned out to be very clicky, which was okay since I still like my group. Of course, I also don’t need a reunion to see those guys; I see them on a fairly regular basis already. More people traveled for the reunion this year, everyone was talking to everyone (I talked more to a couple people from school more that night than I think I did in school — I heard A LOT of people say that), and I got to see a few people I’d lost touch with who I genuinely wanted to see. Part of the difference is that elusive group dynamic thing. This class is also the one I was with from elementary school right on up. (I graduated from a district that averages about 70 people in a class. We had one elementary school with three classrooms per grade and one school for grades 7-12. I’ve learned that my school experiences are relatively unique because we were so very tiny.)
I went to my husband’s ten year reunion. (He graduated a year ahead of me, but same school.) I skipped mine, but my BIL went. He gave me all the good updates.
I made up with one of my close friends at the reunion and we are still in touch, so that was nice. Other than that, I threw up in a McDonald’s parking lot on the way home because I unknowingly drank too much Merlot. Social anxiety sucks.
I did attend my five-year reunion (with my then-girlfriend/now-wife in tow), and had a so-so time. But there were only a couple of the friends I wanted to see there, a bunch of acquaintances I didn’t really care about one way or another, and at least a couple of awkward moments when confronted with some folks I’d had a less-than-stellar relationship with back in the day (though thankfully, they — and no doubt I — had matured enough in the interim so there were no lasting grudges).
My 10-year reunion coincided with the birth of my first daughter. No contest.
And I recently opted against attending my 20-year reunion. Just didn’t feel motivated to go. Not just because most of these people aren’t really my “friends,” but also because most of the friends I did have haven’t really grown. I don’t know if it’s the people I hung out with, but (among those who attend these sort of things) they’re really the people who peaked in high school, and never moved on with their lives. And we’re not even talking about the captain-of-the-football-team peaked, but just normal, average (if a bit geeky) kid peaked.
Actually, it’s the same with a lot of my college friends. They’re still living 20 years ago, whereas I really have no desire to spend my time drinking and remembering the time so-and-so did something outrageous.
Been to both the 10 and 20 year and had a blast at both. Reconnected with old friends and even met people who I never knew (big school). I did re-meet someone who I had a crush on when I crashed one of my classmates reunions and we “shared a moment”. (minds out of the gutter, he was married) One of those you just take in and never expect to see or hear from the person again. Well, 3 years and 10 months later who do you think I get an email from through classmates? You guessed it. Divorced and curious about “what I’m up to”. Well, nothing is happening yet, but it’s interesting that we find ourselves having lots of common 20+ years later. Who knows where it will lead, he lives in Phoenix so it’s not to insane to think there could be a chance of “romance”…..
I went to my twenty year high school reunion and had a good time. I actually saw many of the friends I had in high school, and stayed at the house of the only one I’ve kept in touch with at all. I went to school in a very rural area and most of those folks stayed right there. The very fact of leaving the area made me somewhat of a success.
Of course, I did go through the whole evening saying that I had written a book. I figured I will write a book, and just because I hadn’t done so yet shouldn’t be held against me at my reunion. Rationalization is our friend.
Mother Reader, “I’ve written a book” is much better–and more believable–than “I invented Post-Its.” Good thinking.
Patrick, thanks for the visual on the urinal. See, we women just don’t know what goes on. Mainly because we don’t want to, but whatever.
PJ, very diplomatic: “I like to hope that 20 years out most of the people who were … well, the way they were, may have changed.”. I know what you mean. And I’d have the same hope.
Adrienne, it sounds very Little House on the Prairie. It’s nice to hear about some modern person who grew up that way. Was there a Nelly?
Heather, ew on the McD’s barf. I know this isn’t what did it, but from now on I’m going to associate Merlot and McD’s–and barf. Sorry about your social anxiety. If you came to our kidlitosphere conf in October, we’d make sure you didn’t feel that way. And no one would give you Merlot.
“They’re still living 20 years ago, whereas I really have no desire to spend my time drinking and remembering the time so-and-so did something outrageous.” Bill, I’ve noticed that problem, too. It’s so boring to act like no one has moved on or had other experiences since the “glory days.” Plus, I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve changed a lot since my school years, and I’d hate to have people depending on me to be the way I was. Move on.
Michele, that’s the kind of reunion romance story I’m talking about–or at least it’s a start.
Although I have to admit I’m pretty intrigued by Patrick’s feud with his old girlfriend. I’m sure there’s a story there.
You know what’s almost as good as going to a high school reunion? Having an unusual last name and a book out. I get email all the time from people I went to high school with. It’s actually really nice to hear what they’ve been up to.
I skipped my five year. I’d just lost my job, was broke, and had to move in with my parents. That sucked.
My ten year just passed (i guess, it’s July now, right, and they usually have them right after graduation?) I was too busy.
Now, college reunions… that’s a whole different animal. My five year was last year, and I had the Time. Of. My. Life. Of course, I’m sure it helped that I had just become a full time writer, my book, which was set AT MY COLLEGE, was about to appear on shelves, and I was practically giddy hanging out in the physical manifestation of my book’s setting. I’d been living inside it in my head for a book and a half, but I hadn’t been there in real life for four years. Walking around, it was hard to separate my memories from memories of my book’s characters. Weird right?
But yeah, it was fun to say, “I’m a novelist, my first one is coming out next month.”
But later, I talked to some other people at the reunion, and they had an amazing time too. They do it up right at my school. It’s apparently pretty cheap for the five years (and gets more and more expensive) but they put the whole class in one of the residential colleges, and they erect these big tents in the courtyards, and they feed us and give us free alcohol, and play dance music from when we were in college… it’s a blast. SO MUCH FUN. And since we were almost all still single and childless, we got to pretty much pretend we were still in college for a weekend. I totally have stories I won’t put on this blog.
I really wanted to go to Sailor Boy’s (which was this year) but we were too busy.
Diana, sounds like you had the absolutely IDEAL situation with your college reunion. If we’re talking Romy and Michelle, you were the guy who came in on the helicopter.
I went to my 5th HS reunion but I don’t remember much about it. I skipped the 10 and 15, and then last year went to the 20th. I ended up having much more fun than I thought I would. The actual reunion was fine, and then a small group of us who used to hang out together also arranged a brunch the next day, and a bowling outing the next night. So we really re-uned.
I went to my 15th college reunion but only did one event. It was okay — not enough people I knew there because my college crowd is definitely not the reunion type.
My best friend from school and I organized our 20 year reunion – which involved going into our school and copying down home addresses from the (20 year-old) index cards. This isn’t entirely typical of Ireland, but it wasn’t a very well-off school! We got an amazing number of people’s current addresses, and had a lot of nice chats with parents and occasionally siblings. It was a very low-key, fun night. I’d just moved back to Ireland, having been dumped by my ex, so my self-esteem wasn’t enormous, but I survived. Same friend and I recently decided not to attend a mini-reunion in someone’s house as it was too cliquey, and will probably organize a (gulp) 35th in a couple of years.
I missed the only university one I’m aware of, but saw some of the people who were in Dublin for it, at least!
Lady S, I know this has nothing to do with anything, but can I just tell you how cool it is that you live in Ireland? It’s on my Life List of places to visit. I live in the desert, so I’ve always had dreams of visiting someplace so green!
Robin –
Well, I’m a Space Lord, so everything is my fault. Ummm, yeah. Not going to say much more than that or think about it either…
I recently went to my 20 year high school reunion, having also gone to 5 and 10 year reunions. I had a very good time. I’m still close with a group of friends from high school (even though most of them don’t live near me). So I had them for back-up, but actually found that I spent a lot of time chatting with people I went to elementary school with. These were mostly people I didn’t stay friends with once junior high and high school hit, but now that so much time has gone by, we all enjoyed waxing nostalgic. It was really fun! Then after the reunion, my close friends and I had an after-party, and stayed up until 3 talking about everyone else, and catching up in better detail.
Patrick, I can’t believe you could have been at fault. Aren’t you perfect?
Jen, that all sounds pretty positive! We’ll put you on the plus side.
Of course I’m perfect. But everything is my fault still. It’s easier if everyone blames me for everything.
The only fellow highschoolers I actively liked were a year younger or a year older than I. I’ve kept no friends from my class, mainly because I didn’t really have any. Oh sure, there were the people with whom I was chatty, but nothing sticky in the long run. I loved being in the school-plays mainly because I had a built-in after-school social life for the run of the particular play. Ditto with being on the school newspaper. As far as hanging out with these people? Nothing doing.
Now, college was different. I loved college, still keep in touch with college friends, and even live in the same city as some of them. College rocked. I would totally go to my college reunions if it were convenient to do so–weddings often end up being the college reunions as such. I went to Goshen College, in Goshen, Indiana. Most of my life-long friends are from GC.
It was a bit like Little House on the Prairie. There was a girl who was a bit of a Nellie, but she didn’t show up to the reunion, which was, well, nice.
I just went to my 25th-year GRADE SCHOOL reunion a couple weeks ago, and I can’t begin to tell you what a wonderful experience it was. There was something about those people, or that time in my life, that has made me always want to keep them close. I think that’s why I so love the movie STAND BY ME — I can relate to childhood friendships because mine were so awesome.
Laura, that sounds oh, so sweet!
Timing worked out perfectly for my 10-year reunion – I was driving from CA to CT, and stopped off along the way to attend the reunion with a good friend. Had a great time. People ranged from “looks like she just stepped out of her yearbook photo” to “I really don’t believe you’re wearing the right nametag.” And even the people who hated me in school seemed glad to see me at the reunion.
Had to skip my 20-year because I’d just used up four weeks of leave whilst transferring from one command to another, and couldn’t get any more time off. Not that I could really afford to go after the previous leave period….
We didn’t have a 30-year; one result of that was that the class after us invited us all to attend their 30-year. I think I was in Crete that weekend.
One of the girls tried to organise a 35-year reunion for this summer, but gave up because she couldn’t stir up enough interest. (878 of our class graduated, IIRC. Not including me.)
RM, I have to ask: “IIRC”?
If I Recall Correctly.