Boys and Men Day
Today I am shamelessly directing you to other people. The discussions going on are just too good not to share.
Start with Diana’s blog, where she posted this video of Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, among others, about why he writes such strong women characters. (And bonus: he’s introduced by our favorite badass from River Wild, Meryl Streep.)
Then go over to Bookseller Chick, where she’s spent the past two days talking about why boys do or don’t read.
And finally, I have a question for you. It’s kind of weird, so bear with me.
Ever since I was young and chubbette (ah, the Fat Years), I’ve had this secret requirement that any man I fall in love with has to be able to carry me. Not just a clean-and-jerk move, but a full over-the-threshold carry. I don’t care if a man has the best personality in the world, if his wrists are too thin, he’s out. Just my own personal prejudice, born of my childhood insecurities. A friend of mine has the same issue. When she realized her boyfriend could wear her jeans, he was history.
I know my husband’s one rule is “no skinny nervous women.” He sees some chain-smoking stick and runs the other way.
So what’s your “one thing”? No drugs, no smokers, no cat haters? Or something more obscure? Spill it.
Technorati Tags: Joss Whedon, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Equality Now, Gender Equality, Meryl Streep, River Wild, Bookseller Chick, Diana Peterfreund, Reading, Boys, Books
August 29th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Thanks, Robin!
Um, “one” thing? I have plenty of dealbreakers. Smokers, probably, but I don’t know. I’ve never even dated one. Definitely people that don’t like seafood… or the outdoors… or foreign food…
People who don’t like the Simpsons. Actually, are there people like that?
I don’t know if my boy could wear my jeans. He may be able to, because I have a bit of funk in my trunk. It’s the Italian. tell you what — I’ll have him try when he gets home.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:10 am
my one thing (well having been married all of my adult life and a fair amount of my childhood, its not like i’m out there making choices–but IF i was)–i HATE cheap guys (gals too, for that matter). i don’t mean frugal, one of my brothers-i-law who is a retired school teacher, is very careful with his money, out of necessity, but is nonetheless one of the most generous people i know. and i don’t mean just money, my experience is that those that are finacially parsimonious are likewise less than generous with their time or talent.
anyone who starts dividing up the bill after dinner based upon who (usually them) had ice tea and who had a gin and tonic (usually me) is just flat off my list–its a pretty good indication of their view of life–must be ever vigilant or be ripped off, versus my own philosophy, of it all evens out over time and if it doesn’t who gives a s***.
August 29th, 2006 at 11:10 am
Robin,
I agree with you. Size 28 jeans, and you are not the man for me!
August 29th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
Thank you,Robin,for putting up that link and thank you,Diana,for having that Joss Whedon speech! I am on pins and needles waiting for the Wonder Woman movie-would be in line for it now,if it wasn’t raining today:)
As to deal breakers,my man would have to like cats(dogs are great but I’m so bad at the taking them for a walk bit),not be too into sports and like superheroes. I can’t be with someone who thinks”that’s only for kids!” No way,Jose.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
I’m with Diana: “one” thing? But assuming he passed the kids and pets threshold test (are 2 kids, a horse, 3 dogs, 2 rabbits, a guinea pig, a turtle,a tarantula and a pregnant minnow really that large a hurdle?), the dealbreaker would be teeth. They can’t be horribly crooked (note I said horribly-I’m not a snob, I know not everyone could or wanted to have braces as a kid), discolored, or clearly devoid of regular dental care or very tiny or large. Neither can they be unnaturally white. A nice smile goes a long way….
August 29th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
No mini-vans or squishy toilet seats or that carpet cover toilet seat thing.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
I love Joss soooo much!!! I’ve been re-watching Buffy lately, so this is very appropriate!
As for your question, I’ll just say he’s gotta be big and burly. Having spent ten years with giant men who threw me around every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday, I think it’s perfectly reasonable that any man I marry should be able to take a punch, throw a few of his own, and bend iron with his bare hands. Well, maybe not the last one, but doesn’t that sound nice? And constructive?
August 30th, 2006 at 9:41 am
first, deborah, can’t imagine you don’t have guys breakin’ down the door with that resume! (maybe you want to sweeten it with “primary care-giver for live-in elderly parents”-that ought to cinch it).
second, okay lizzie, have to ask, “every tuesday, friday and sunday”…what gives with that?
last, is no one going to stand up for regular guys or, god forbid, even not so big kinda guys–not me–but aren’t there any “trim”, manly men out there!!!
August 30th, 2006 at 10:48 am
Annette, I can answer your question to Lizzie. She and I used to practice martial arts together on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. We hit and were hit, threw and were thrown. A very bonding girl experience.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I’d consider a trim, manly man as long as he had good teeth, could muck out a stall, and share the bed with 3 dogs…maybe I should leave that last part out…
August 30th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Deborah, that sounds like a pretty hot hero for some romance novel. Might have to steal that. Especially the part about sharing a bed with three dogs.
August 30th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
I feel I should add that men who wear necklaces or flip flops are also out.
August 30th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
What size is a ‘giant man’? height/weight/chest/whatever other statistic
August 30th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Patrick,
Many of the guys at our dojo were at least 6 feet tall, between 200-250 lbs. Then there was Big Ed, who was like 6′5″, 350 lbs.
Also keep in mind that as a 12 year-old girl, everyone bigger than me was ‘giant’…especially the guys who had biceps big enough to hang from.
August 30th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
My daughter could not date this very nice young man because he wore a gold necklace. She just could not get past it. Interesting….
August 30th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
See? I can totally relate. There’s something about a gold necklace on a guy that’s a weird combo of used car salesman and lounge lizard. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I’d be interested in knowing what your daughter doesn’t like about it.
And my thing about flip flops on guys: I just think they look sloppy and low class and strangely feminine. When I was in Colorado a few weeks ago, I read the local newspaper and saw a few wedding announcements and photos. One very rugged looking groom was wearing nice pants, an outdoorsy shirt, and flip flops. Ugh. Totally ruined his rugged good looks for me. I don’t mind Tevas or Chacos or other full sandals on guys, just flip flops.
I recognize I may be totally alone in this. Just sharing.
August 31st, 2006 at 1:02 pm
patrick, curious as to why you were so..umm, curious about giant guys. would you like to send in your vitals and well vote ya a sm. med. lg. or GIANT?
also got to weigh in here on the dude necklace thing–can we agree that pukas are okay??? a nice preferably vintage strand of pukas says relaxed surfer, retro, cool kinda guy. as for flip flops, love ‘em, just love ‘em–not for a wedding for god sakes but guys with nice feet and pedicured toes should definitely show them off and not with lame tevas (hate those–so seattle).
August 31st, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Annette, WHAT??
No, pukas are not okay. And what do you mean “and pedicured toes”? I don’t want to see some some guy’s gnarly, yellow, overgrown nails, but come on–pedicured? How LA are we going to be here?
August 31st, 2006 at 1:35 pm
oops–maybe i said too much.
August 31st, 2006 at 2:16 pm
I’m only 5′10″. I know that puts me at medium. I was just wondering if you guys were into the 48″ waist band. I was surprised to hear no 28″ waist on a guy. I’m pretty sure I could lift a 12 year old girl, probably even win in a fight against one.
And I’ll say that I switched to a flip-flop because strapped on sandals become too smelly - ya need the flop to let some air in there…Plus there is too much effort involved in the whole strap thing…