Oh, this hurts
Last night, while I was happily enjoying Meg Cabot’s latest adult novel The Queen of Babble, a particularly cruel friend of mine called to force me to watch Celebrity Duets.
Oh. My. Gosh.
As you may have noticed on my List of 30, one of the people I would like to meet and have at least a five-minute conversation with is Lucy Lawless, otherwise known to all of us fans as Xena, Warrior Princess.
I may have to rethink that.
I tuned in just as Lucy was singing a duet with Michael Bolton. Now, Lucy’s got chops–I’m not saying she doesn’t. I enjoyed hearing her sing those haunting funeral songs on Xena. And she’s gorgeous and strong and fabulous, but last night she was . . . merely gorgeous.
The setup of the show is that a few celebrities of the Lea Thompson/Lucy Lawless/Cheech Marin category have to sing two separate duets with two stars such as Smoky Robinson and Gladys Knight. Fine. Whatever.
But let me tell you, there’s a big difference between watching someone dance badly, as on Dancing with the Stars, and having to hear them sing badly. That is PAINFUL. To hear someone off pitch, or using that swoopy above-and-below the note thing that high school singers do when they want to show how talented they are, or watching someone try to emote and having it come off like a Saturday Night Live skit–I’m telling you, those are minutes out of my life that I can never get back.
I kept watching because of Xena. Well, not exactly watching–I was still reading my book with the sound of the TV on low so I wouldn’t have to suffer too much through the horrible HORRIBLE performances and even worse the PANDERING, bizarre judging by celebrity judges Marie Osmond and Little Richard–
You know what? I can’t go on. It’s all too embarrassing. Embarrassing that I watched, embarrassing that there is such a show.
Please, for the sake of humanity, do not even accidentally watch this show. I’m sorry–I like to support Xena and actors and actresses in general–I appreciate it when people make it their job to entertain me–but this–
Plus, Xena was blond. And girly. And wanting Marie Osmond’s and Little Richard’s and David Foster’s approval SO MUCH.
That is not the Xena I know and want to be. Xena would never have gone blond and frilly. Xena kicks serious ass. Xena might go days without bathing. Xena fishes. Xena can ride a horse. Xena doesn’t try to please the masses.
Sigh.
It’s going to take a while to shake this funk.
Technorati Tags: Celebrity Duets, Lucy Lawless, Xena, Xena Warrior Princess, Meg Cabot, Queen of Babble
August 30th, 2006 at 9:27 am
I have to confess to watching this musical horror unfold-I’ve never been a Xena fan(Lucy Lawless is cool but I was more into Buffy at the time)but she sure sounded better than Creech Marin or poor Hal Sparks(how weird was it that Marie Osmond,of all people,complained that he was “too white”? Even Little Richard was speechless for a moment there).
Chris Jericho,I’m all too familar with since my sis watches WWE(and mocks it gleefully)and has subjected me to listening to parts of his albums(his band’s name is Fozzy,I kid you not). Thankfully,they kicked him off right away so I don’t have to watch CD again,yah!
August 30th, 2006 at 9:35 am
Wait a minute, Lady T. Are you saying you’re actually going to watch again?
SAVE YOURSELF!!
August 30th, 2006 at 11:04 am
Whoops, I misinterpreted. “CD” is “Celebrity Duets,” not “Chris Jericho.” The alphabet kind of stumps me sometimes.
All is forgiven. Please go about your business.
August 30th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
Watch Project Runway tonight and it will wash the ick right off!!!
Also, did you ever rent Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill? You really must.
August 30th, 2006 at 9:01 pm
Thanks, Lizzie. Excellent suggestion. I’m going to go set the VCR now.
August 31st, 2006 at 1:32 pm
lizzie, i noticed that rb did not answer–i however, on your advice, did rent and watch e. izzard’s “dress to kill” and loved it–very hip, sophisticated humor. i’d never seen him before and now consider myself a fan. thank you. now ask her about “labyrinth”.
August 31st, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Ooh, sweet, I’m glad you liked it!!! Eddie’s a genius - I’m so in love with him
August 31st, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Now, either you guys haven’t rented labyrinth or you’re - well, I don’t know.
August 31st, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Look, I did rent it, okay? Because you guys were all going on and on about it.
And I didn’t love it. There. I’ve said it.
August 31st, 2006 at 5:11 pm
WHAT?!?!? Next you’re going to say you don’t like Football.
August 31st, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Der.
August 31st, 2006 at 9:22 pm
i rented it as well and had every intention of watching it, all of it. but it was only a three day rental and time kind of got away from me and with late fees and all, well you know how it is, before you know it its wed. and its gotta go back and a long list of folks who want it, i’m sure. okay truth is IT SUCKED or at least the first fifteen minutes did–maybe the rest is really, really good and i should give it another chance–ain’t happenin’.
although i totally respect anyone else’s right to like this movie, even love it, as some of my fellow bloggies apparently do. isn’t this world one crazy, mixed-up, mysterious place?