“I’m so going to blog about this.”
Here’s an interesting little ethical dilemma:
When you’re on the outside looking in–one more fan among the many, noticing in your fannish way the interesting facts and quirks about people we’ve all heard of–you might feel free to talk about those in your blog. “I saw Susan Sarandon without makeup!” (I did once when I was up here in New York.) “And she looked gorgeous!” (She did.) Or “George Clooney was right in front of me in the Starbucks line” (I wish), “and all he ordered was a scone!” You know, that sort of important information.
But what if you find yourself on the inside every now and then? Maybe someone has invited you to come hang out with people who in some sense of the word are now your peers, but in your own mind are still the object of your gawking?
Do you still blog about them? And if so, in what detail?
I hung out with some other teen authors last night, and it was fun, and they were cool, and you’ve heard of some or maybe most of them, but there’s not really more to say. Except that they were witty, of course, and sophisticated in that way New Yorkers always are compared to people at the opposite end of the country like me, and I always pay attention to how they dress, which is with this easy casualness that looks elegant on them and sloppy on me. This is the first time I haven’t overpacked for New York, because I really am trying to be more like the natives, wearing comfortable footwear, for example, since I know I’ll be walking for miles.
But you understand the problem, right? How personal should you get when blogging about people you’ve met and that others have heard of? It’s not like me talking about my family or friends, who are obviously fair game just because they’re related to me or have proven they will like me even if I occasionally reveal disturbing information about them. We’re talking new people here–people who may not appreciate me talking about their habits and virtues. Well, they’d probably be okay with the virtues part.
And on the flip side, those people, who have blogs of their own, have met me now. And I’m sure there are plenty of geeky, awkward, socially-inept things I do at these get-togethers because that’s my M.O. I’m much better kicking off my shoes and curling up on someone’s couch to shoot the poop than I am standing around in some bar trying to make small talk. Aarg. SO hard.
Anyway, it’s an interesting question, and one I thought I’d bring to you–especially since a lot of us will have the occasion in a few weeks to meet each other and blog about each other behind all of our backs if we so choose to. There might be photos, too–egad.
What do you think? Tell all, tell some, tell none?
Technorati Tags: Blogs, Blogging, Blogging About Others, Blogging About Famous People Who Thought They Were Off-Duty That Night
September 19th, 2007 at 6:47 am
I always go with, if it is something nice, use their name, something weird/awkward/offensive/rude, be vague about the actual offender and put it in a context of if you were actually speaking to the offender or they were reading what you write.
For example, I might say I had a great time with writer/friends Barry and Robin, but I would talk vaguely about friends who wear matching jackets to functions.
It is all in how you say it.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:07 am
It is a tough dilemma, isn’t it? You want to respect their privacy, but also share the cool moments. I think if you share with them you might blog about them and they say it’s okay, then you’re at liberty to write away. Tell all!
I also agree with Patrick, if you’re going to write something complimentary (which is your nature anyway), then I think it’s okay. Tell all positive things.
Of course, now I’m curious as to who you met and what you observed that you’re wondering about the appropriate ethics.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:55 am
I think unless it’s in the form of an official function like a conference or workshop, what happens at dinner should stay at dinner…or at least off the internet. But I’m more of a privacy geek in general.
September 19th, 2007 at 8:15 am
In that situation, I don’t say anything. But I think when it comes to people with blogs, it’s okay to compliment. I just try not to drag people into the blogosphere if they didn’t already volunteer to be here!
September 19th, 2007 at 8:27 am
I try to follow the age old everyone’s mothers’ advice: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. At least in public.
September 19th, 2007 at 8:27 am
I’m with Katie, here. I always ask permission to put someone on my blog. (Except for maybe from my daughter, who just said, “God, mom, you BLOGGED about that!” You have to embarrass the offspring somehow.)
September 19th, 2007 at 10:47 am
I agree with Patrick’s tactic. Also, I’m right with you on how awkward such a gathering must be. I’m a “good old, down home” girl who likes informal get togethers at friends’ houses. Bars never did anything for me, and I haven’t found an alcoholic drink yet that I’ve enjoyed enough to take more than a couple of sips. It just doesn’t taste as good as, say, a milkshake. (: I’m sure you did fine, mingled well, and ranked right up there with the wit and your own level of sophistication. I’m really glad that writers can hail from anywhere. It makes all of your works much more diverse and flavorful.
September 19th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Kelley/Vivian - Of course you guys agree with me. I mean, you could disagree with me, but that would really only mean that you are wrong.
September 19th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Ah, I see. Well, it’s good to be right then!
September 19th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Oh, and Kelley, it’s not about taste, it’s about you dancing on the tables. Drink up, girl!
September 19th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Maybe you need a super secret blog where you can name drop? (I was thinking about creating one of these to talk about my future dating adventures. Ye-ahhhh!)
September 19th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Oh…Patrick,
For the time being, I’ll acquiesce to your words of wisdom. However, I do reserve the right to object whenever necessary.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
i say, tell all, just disguse the name. like when gossiping about certain “someones” known to the blog refer to them as, “larry byga” or “lace spord”. easy, huh, and no one is the wiser.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I kinda like ‘Lace Spord’ it has a nice ring to it.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
With blogging, it’s like every person is a reporter and everything’s on the record. Maybe we should put this on the table at the Chicago conference in the ethics discussion. I think it all could be very tricky, even if you stick to nice things.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
‘Lace Spord’, huh?
Reminds me of my old hiking group, the ‘Cunning Stunts’. Those nicely tight teeshirts did turn some heads, yes they did.
September 19th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I hate to say this, but I think Patrick is right. Dang.
Seriously, though, I wouldn’t have had anything bad to say about anyone, so it’s not one of those “If you can’t say anything nice” situations. Everyone was lovely and witty and kind, etc. This is more of a general question because now it seems it will happen more often that I will actually meet people I’ve heard of. Which is weird anyway.
By the way, y’all, I’m just back from a full day of that TV satellite thing all morning, then meetings with people at the publishing house all afternoon, and I am so incredibly tired I can’t tell you. But it was a fun, weird, exhilarating day, and I’ll tell you all about it after a long night’s sleep and maybe some more sleep after that. I fly back home tomorrow, so I’ll try to update you before I go.
Anyway, thanks for all your thoughts on this. And it is something to think about with our upcoming conference–for instance, do we all want to show up in pictures on people’s blogs if we’re just relaxing and looking all schlubby? I said there was no fancy dress code for this conference and I meant it. So candid pictures might really look like us sitting around on a Saturday, no makeup, etc.
I can’t really think straight right now. I’ll check back later.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
bj, you ARE the baddest…tee hee.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
oops, i meant, “jb”, she’s the baddest.
September 19th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
I remember Fuse blogging about a function where she described someone’s outfit, and then was asked by the publishing company to take the description of the outfit out of her blog post. It was quite disappointing, because as you all know, we read Fuse’s blog in order to find out what the editor of Little,Brown wore on her feet.
September 19th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
For me, I feel comfortable writing about who I met at places. You can say general stuff, like people you enjoyed talking to, or basic topics of conversation. I wouldn’t say anything negative, embarrassing, or too personal. Spinach in Barry’s teeth? Don’t mention that.
September 19th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Oh tuffy! I think I agree with Patrik if it’s bad be vague, but if it’s good then go ahead and name um I’m sure they’d appriciate it! However I also agree that that sort of info is very important for us to know so as long as your being vauge go ahead and share!
September 20th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Good stuff only, for sure…still, I’m not sure I would want a personal conversation, or even a group conversation with my quotes printed… but then I don’t do social much either… kind of like you, Robin, in that respect.
October 1st, 2007 at 11:38 am
I think it is all fair in the blogging world. Here in the Big Apple we even have a website (http://www.gawker.com) that began as a single person stalking celebrities and reporting on it in NYC.
Coincidentally, I have seen Susan Sarandon several times with no makeup at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (she lives a couple of blocks away, I hear…) with her daughters and I will say (as I followed, ok…stalked, her through the Picasso exhibit the first time I saw her, that she is as lovely (or perhaps lovelier) without makeup.