Now it can be told: the TV satellite tour
This is one of those things that if some writer friend of mine were doing it, I’d want to know every detail. So here goes:
Tomorrow I’m flying to New York. Tomorrow night I’ll be having drinks (for me, water–I know, yawn, but I need to keep my wits about me with that crowd) at Teen Author Drink Night, whatever that is. I’ve already heard some of the names of people who will be there, and eep! I feel like such a kindergartner among 6th-graders.
Tuesday I will try to adjust to the time change, because at 6:30 Wednesday morning (3:30 AM my time) a car will come get me to take me to a television studio where a professional will do my hair and makeup–
And I’m sorry, I wasn’t really listening after that.
A NEW YORK PROFESSIONAL WILL BE DOING MY HAIR AND MAKEUP??!! HOT DOG!! It’s like saying a Hollywood personal trainer is going to start showing up at my home every day to whip me into shape. A real pro! Making me over! I need to calm down.
So after an hour of hair and makeup and instructions in how to handle myself on camera, I will be put into a sound-proof booth where I will be facing a smiley face pasted on the wall. And that smiley face is my friend and companion for the rest of the morning. Because as TV stations from around the country beam my face by satellite into their studios, all I will have to go on is the reporters’ voices coming through my earpiece while I laugh and chat with the smiley face so it looks like I’m seeing the reporters in front of me.
Is that not bizarre?
I’m so, so thrilled I get to do this. It’s really huge of Random House to put me out there like that. I just need to suck it up and not get all twittery and nervous.
I’ll be interviewed by stations in ten different cities, plus an internet site. Some of those cities’ shows are nationally-syndicated, so the interview might show up other places I don’t know about. That’s the thing about all of this: I don’t really know more than what I’ve told you. Which is why I’m going to perform my public service by telling you everything I can afterward, just so we’ll all understand at least this part of the publishing and entertainment business. I know I always appreciate it when someone gives me the inside scoop.
So here are the shows I’ll be on:
West Palm Beach, FL WWCI-IND Book Talk
Lima, OH WLIO-NBC Morning News
Regional New England Syndicated New Englanders
Regional CT NEWS 12 Education Notebook
Albuquerque, NM KOB-NBC Midday News
Jacksonville, FL WJXT-IND Morning News
Memphis, TN WPTY-ABC Morning News
Birmingham, AL WBRC-FOX Morning News
Kansas City, KS WDAF-FOX Morning News
Palm Springs, CA KMIR-NBC Morning News
National (Internet) Internet Sexy Sassy Smart
If you’re in any of those places and have access to any of those stations, feel free to watch and say, “Wow, I thought she’d be taller/blonder/brunetter/younger/older/wearing fleece/etc. But boy, do her hair and makeup look great!”
I’m going for a hike now to clear my head, but then I’ll be back to pack and print out a bunch of Mapquest, since I never remember my way around (although thankfully there is a Starbucks on every corner, so I won’t need maps for that). If you have some TV advice, lay it on me. Just remember it’s too late to get my teeth whitened, to lose those 10 or 15 pounds the camera puts on, to buy a different outfit, or to meet with a media coach. Other than that, have at it.
[UPDATE: Well, this put things in perspective. I'm out there hiking with husband and dogs (Bear and a loaner Lab we have these days), and the trail is hemmed in on both sides by tall grass and scrub brush--typical desert scenery. Time for me to pee, so I drop my pack, drop trou, and squat as far off trail as I can get without stepping into the bushes.
Finish, go back a few feet to retrieve my pack, and by the time I return to my pee spot just thirty seconds later there's a HUGE ANGRY RATTLESNAKE right there, wondering what's up with all the boot-stomping and the panting dogs and the urination.
I scream. And point. Husband still hasn't heard the rattle and can't locate the source. Dogs are curious and stupid. (By the way, we've already signed them up for a snake-breaking class next weekend, to be discussed later). I'm trying to get everyone to GET BACK! AACK! IT'S RIGHT THERE! And still husband and dogs aren't moving, just trying to figure out what's up. Dogs are now sniffing around where snake just disappeared back into the bushes, and I'm sure at any moment someone is going to get fanged and poisoned.
Needless to say I wasn't so interested in my nice, relaxing hike anymore. All got out safely, but my heart was pounding for quite a long while after that.
What I'm saying is TV, shmeevee. Compared to life-and-death wilderness scenarios, I think a few hours of being in front of a camera will turn out to be pretty tame.
So I guess that hike helped clear my head after all.]
Technorati Tags: Writing, Publishing, Author Tours, Book Tours, TV Satellite Tours
September 16th, 2007 at 5:54 am
Wow, Robin! Congratulations on an amazing opportunity. I’d be puking from nervousness about right now. I don’t have access to any of those TV stations and am not sure I can be on the internet at the right time. Anyone who can get video of this interview and post it will be greatly appreciated!
Good luck and good wishes to you. At least you know the smiley face is completely nonjudgmental.
September 16th, 2007 at 6:18 am
I was going to chide you for posting on a Sunday after you said you were going to use that day to chill from blogging. But I take it all back. Wow! And double-wow for sharing.
Oh, man, you are going to rock— interview AND hair and makeup-wise. May I say that I am way jealous. Not of the interviews, because that would involve a whole lot of nausea, but yes, of the hair and makeup pro’s attention. Take notes! Steal all his/her secrets!
BTW, what the heck is Internet Sexy Sassy Smart?
And finally, my TV advice: imagine that smiley face in its underwear. A thong if you have to.
September 16th, 2007 at 6:56 am
Hair. make-up, and a hot dog? Life couldn’t get any better!
If you’re not amish, you should be able to find Robin here.
http://sexysassysmart.tv/
Super Cool!
September 16th, 2007 at 6:57 am
Thanks, Kelley! No puking here, but there could be some sweating.
Sara, I knew someone was going to call me on that Internet Sabbath thing I declared. I’ll generally keep to that, but, you know. Don’t be jealous of the hair and makeup thing–we can all do each other’s hair at the Kidlit Conference.
Patrick, thanks for that link. I was trying to do it myself, but then . . . Amish.
September 16th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Congrats,Robin,that sounds great! I don’t have access to those channels but I’ll attempt to use Patrick’s link(I get a little Amish with this online stuff at times,too).
Professional hair and make-up,nice! Wouldn’t it be cool if you had Nick and Carmody from WNTW doing that for you?
September 16th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Thanks for the link, Patrick! I will definitely check it out.
Ps. I’m so jealous that I won’t be able to attend Kidlit and play with everyone’s hair. My hubbie would not survive without me at this point, though, since the baby is still dependent on my boobs for sustenance. (:
September 16th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Oo, Lady T–Nick and Carmendy (I never know how to spell her name) would be so cool. But I’m sure the person I’ll have will be just as great, and I’ll have the advantage of no one doing a “before” photo first.
Kelley, that is the downside of being the personal cafeteria. But one day you will be free to travel again, and by then there will be another conference to attend!
September 16th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Kelley, your husband should survive. I am assuming he is not also dependent on your boobs for sustenance, though it is a quite possible scenario.
September 16th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
That is way awesome, Robin. Have an amazing trip!
September 16th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
This is sooooo beyond cool. Enjoy every moment and have fun with it. NYC, Teen Author Drink Night, hair, makeup, tv interview…can’t wait to read all about it!
September 16th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Patrick, my husband says he does not require the boobs for sustenance, but he does require the boobs.
Nuff said about my boobs, I think.
Robin, what a hiking adventure! Too bad you’re not a parseltongue. I would have been completely freaked.
September 16th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Wow, Robin, congrats on the TV interviews! Don’t stress about it, I’m sure you’ll knock ‘em dead. (Which may be an unfortunate metaphor after the rattlesnake story). I laughed so hard at the rattlesnake story and had to read it to my husband and son. I’m glad everyone’s ok!
I *really* wish I could come to the Kidlit conference, but it’s not going to work out this year.
September 16th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Patrick and Kelley, AHEM.
Thanks, Jen, Vivian, and Sheila! I’ll faithfully report whatever happens.
Sheila, bummer you can’t come! But next year, please.
Kelley, good point on the parseltongue. Although I’m pretty sure what the snake was saying was, “Dang, and I was this close to fanging her on the bum. Extra points for that, you know.”
September 16th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
“Snake-breaking class”???? WTF???
Robin, that is so totally bizarre - I didn’t realize that’s how they did televised interviews. If you can’t picture the smiley face in a thong, you could at least draw a fake mustache and stuff on it.
September 16th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
YAY! Congratulations Robin! I’m sure you’ll do great! Have fun!
September 17th, 2007 at 10:18 am
I think the snake was saying Hey!! I don’t pee in your living room so don’t pee in mine. So what is the treatment for a snake bitten butt.
Good luck on the interviews. Hopefully someone will get it on youtube.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Wow! That is so awesome, Robin! If you can, please post a video link later on so we can see you!! Kudos to Random House for getting such great publicity going. (dream, dream)
As for the snake, he’s probably telling his buddies his own story right now! ha ha — My sister went to AZ for grad school just for the snakes — she did her dissertation on something like sexual size dimorphism in the Western Diamondback. She has “pet” rattlers in two sets of glass-fronted cabinets in her living room. Eek! AND she was bitten once and had to have gnarly anti-venin, and same with her father-in-law, who works as a volunteer in Phoenix removing rattlers from backyards. Rattler country!!
Good luck on TV, and have fun at drinks night!
September 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
I’m glad Herb noted the snake part of the post. I’m thrilled for you to be on tv (and I hope I catch it in one way or another), but… snakes! Aiee! I spent the first part of my life in West Virginia, and after that, decided I wanted to live in a state with no poisonous snakes. I stepped on a copperhead once, and fortunately for me, I was not bitten. At least the rattlesnakes give some warning.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Eisha, snake breaking class: oh, yeah. It’s coming up this Saturday. Can’t wait to tell you all about it afterward, because I’m sure it will be quite the thing.
Thanks, Dylan!
Herb, I’m sure you’re right about what the snake was thinking. And what’s the cure for snake-bitten butt? Amputation, unfortunately.
Laini, I mean this in the kindest way, but your sister is kind of a freak. I mean, who goes out of their way to play with snakes? Please! It’s like those people who swim with sharks. Let’s all remember evolution, people. Let’s try to be survivors.
Alkelda, I’m with you. Snakes = no, thank you. But yes, I did appreciate getting the warning. I actually said a little thank you prayer to the snake for letting me know he was there and was feeling so pissed off.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:41 am
robin, if you have to have your snake bitten butt amputated, no worries, i have a doner ready to go…
September 18th, 2007 at 7:43 am
You should get your dogs the rattlesnake vaccine.
Good luck with the interviews tomorrow!
September 18th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Thanks, Katie! And I’ll look into the vaccine.
Annette, do you speak of yourself? Are you a butt stunt double or something?
September 18th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
no rb, i am not a “stunt-double”. what apparently appears to be twice as much butt as necessary is all mine and i’m willing to sacrifice a HUGE portion of that bodacious bedonk-a-donk to the cause. unfortunately, not unlike the liver, the human a** is one of the few organs that regenerates. damn.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:15 am
Annette, let’s not wander back into that whole bedonk-a-donk phase you led us into earlier this year, ‘kay? Once we established that I didn’t even know what that meant (and that Deborah, Patrick, and so many others did), it was all downhill.