“One item at a time”
I’m officially driving myself crazy. And maybe some of you, too, while I’m at it.
A few days ago Vivian wrote: “Eegads Robin! I’ve barely made a dent in the clutter at home, and now I have to clean out the clutter in my brain? 50 things!?”
And after reading Tuesday’s list of all the books you guys have been reading–in particular, Miri–I said: “I keep meaning to read Artemis Fowl. Aarrgg! There aren’t enough hours in the day to get to all the books I want to read!!! But thanks for reminding me. I do want to try those out.”
Take a breath.
Some of you may have noticed the banner at the top of my blog which says, “Living an interesting life, one item at a time.” That’s not a brag, it’s a goal.
For several years now I’ve kept something called a Life List, where I keep track of all the things I still want to learn, places I still want to go, accomplishments I still want to have.
Like traveling to New Zealand (so I can be more like Diana. But really so I can visit Lord of the Rings territory and look for Aragorn). And writing a movie that gets made. And making the New York Times bestseller list–little things like that.
But I sometimes forget the “one item at a time” part. Because it all seems so good. Just like trying to read every book out there–I want to do it all.
But the danger, obviously, is just what Vivian and I were both whining about yesterday, and maybe some of you were, too. You just didn’t say it out loud.
But I’ll say it for us: ENOUGH ALREADY! I’M ALREADY DOING TOO MUCH!
Or as a friend of mine used to say, “Why don’t you shove a broom up my [butt], and I’ll sweep while I’m at it!”
Breathe . . .
So on my own behalf and yours, I’m going to take a moment here to regroup. I think I need to say out loud that I can’t, and you can’t, actually do everything all the time. There. It’s painful, but it’s true.
BUT I still like having a short list in front of me, so at least I know where I’m pointing my feet for this long hike I’m on. Because that’s what it is–a long, winding trek around and up a steep mountain, which is just one of many mountains in a vast range that will take my whole life to cover.
And I know that on this year’s portion of that hike, I would like to see the following scenery:
1. Read at least 50 books.
2. Write and sell another novel.
3. Sell the movie rights to one of my books.
4. Write a screenplay that gets me into the Sundance Screenwriters Lab.
5. Go backpacking twice.
There. That’s not so overwhelming, is it? Of course there are LOTS of other things I’d like to accomplish this year, but I think five is a manageable number to hold in my mind at any one time.
And the point of that list of five? To check my work. To remind me how I want to spend my time. If I say those five things are important to me, I’d like to see some proof of that in how I spend my days. Am I mindlessly watching TV instead of reading? Fix it. Am I taking good care of myself so I’ll have the energy to backpack miles and miles over rough terrain? Good for me. And go ahead and have a little chocolate while you’re at it.
I don’t know if this helps or not. My goal in all this bizarre list-making is always to help all of us get a handle on our lives and make them as spectacular as possible. I hate it when what I do instead is just make us all nervous.
Do I make you nervous? Give it to me straight.
[And by the way, wasn't Lost FABULOUS last night? Totally makes up for the horrendous one about Nikki and Paolo. I got a good laugh out of Barry's analysis of last night's episode here. Enjoy.]
Technorati Tags: Life List, Motivation, Success, Goals, Goal-Setting, Simplification, Simplify Your Life, We All Need Some Chocolate Today
April 12th, 2007 at 5:50 am
I think we need a list of all your ‘list of’s.
I’m actually switching away from the ‘1 item at a time’ mentality. I said something about it over on my blog a few weeks ago.
The reason is, I easily fall into a mono-tasker. And if the number 1 task on the list is hanging me up, it hangs up everything.
See, I would get frustrated that reading 50 books is taking so long, especially if I accidentally picked up a clunker or one of those weighty ‘issue books’ that turned me off from reading for a while. So, the not reading for a while would bum me out and make it so I don’t write, don’t remodel the house, etc.
Nope.
My rule is Do Something. If it isn’t working, Do Something Else. Because the opposite of doing something is doing nothing and if you are doing nothing, you aren’t moving and if you aren’t moving, you’re dead.
It’s how I am trying to approach reading, writing, home improvement, work, exercise, etc.
April 12th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Patrick, that makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing that. Helps me reorder my brain.
April 12th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Wow. The Space Lord speaketh. Thank you oh sage one for your wise words of advice.
Robin, Yes, I like your way much better. A nice mix of accountability and manageability in a short list. No overwhelming sighs will escape from me this time. I wrote about this on my blog too.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:02 am
I’m also working on a treadmill analogy for understanding your pace. How many things can you do at once? Do you like it when the speed and inclination changes randomly? Do you pick one speed and go at that speed all the time? etc…
I haven’t fleshed it out completely but it is helping me to understand what works best for me.
Know your pace(workload) If you overload yourself, you’ll give up early. If you don’t challenge yourself, you won’t get better or stay interested.
I, like you, want to do everything. I’m learning to pace myself rather than a short sprint that really doesn’t make me feel like I’m closer to the finish line. After the sprint, I am closer, but I’m winded and can’t go on.
Slow and steady gets you there. Diana’s 100 words a day seems TINY. But the important part is the EVERYDAY. Pretty soon, 100 becomes 200, 300, 500, 1000.
Starting out with a commitment of 1000 a day is like starting running at 6 miles per day. You might pull it off for a week or two, but you’ll probably crash, unless you were previously a 1000 word/6 mile a day person.
I think the thought is there, but not nearly as eloquent as I want to explain it.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Patrick, your explanation (and analogy) works for me. Thanks.
Vivian, I like the list on your blog. Especially the one about how you’re going to stop wishing you were taller.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
I want to be more like you. But that would entail actually GOING to my yoga class, rather than just signing up, paying, and skipping. Which reminds me too much of college.
Goal oriented though you may be, you also have “what nice thing did we do for ourselves this week.” I think that’s always a good reminder.
The other tough things about goals is that too often we make goals something over which we, personally, have no control, which is always frustrating. For instance, I CAN control how many novels I write and direct my agent to shop. I cannot control how many movie rights I sell. Etc.
April 13th, 2007 at 7:15 am
My goal is to simply design at least one or two sites for myself a year. I added http://bitchslappin.net and http://refreshdelval.org last year. This year it’ll be greenspeak.org (launching on Earth Day, which is TOMORROW) and at least one other, probably another web design site to brand myself differently.
It’s really easy to put my own stuff off since I get paid for the client stuff, but not (yet) for my own. But my own stuff gives me so much personal satisfaction, since they’re to my own specs instead of someone else’s.
Oddly, I find myself agreeing with Patrick. Do something. If that doesn’t work, do something else. So if I get stuck on one of my client projects, maybe I should spend an hour or two on one of my own . . .
April 13th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Oddly, it seems like BJ was renamed to Robin.
Don’t be afraid to agree with me. I am quite agreeable.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:21 am
P, thanks for catching that. Sometimes BJ sneaks in and comments without me knowing, but the tell-tale is always that my name ends up on it. I went back in and fixed it. Thanks for being my spy.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
I do believe in having goals, but I think my goals have gotten much smaller, and yet more meaningful, over time. I no longer have real career-centered goals other than to be effective and successful at what I’m doing today. Instead, my goals are quieter — more to do with time spent with family and friends, new relationships, challenging myself to be brave about things I’ve been chicken about — thinks like that.
April 13th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Nancy, love the idea of working to be braver at things you’re chicken about. I need to do that, too. And isn’t it weird how small some of those things are? I assume they’re not all the fear-of-my-parachute-not-opening type, but some are just simple fears about not making a fool out of yourself.
Or are yours all big?