Hi, I’m not Robin Brande, but let me tell you about her latest book and some funny anecdotes from her life, like her high school vampire boyfriend, her interesting college eating habits(yes, she ate entire colleges. Remember MIT? She ate it.), and other funny stories about her.

She’s really likable and has written a swell book and is hard at work on the next one. If you don’t buy this one, she will send you hate emails, because she wrote it just for you and you are refusing to read it.

Look at these powerpoint slides showing you buying her book. See? It’s easy. Anyone can do it. Here’s another slide, yes, that could be you smiling and laughing while sitting under a tree reading her book.

Don’t be this guy – wa wa – He doesn’t have Robin’s latest book and is bored and unfunny.

Oh look, that nice girl looks like she is going to share her copy of Robin’s book with the bored, unfunny boy.

Tut Tut. Don’t do that. Make him buy his own. Take him to the store to spend his money and make himself happy. He won’t be happy with a shared book and neither will Robin.

You don’t want to upset likable Robin do you? Look at this slide of her with coffee and puppies. She’s happy. Don’t make her sad. Buy your own copy.

When finished, properly dispose of the book to make sure no one reads it without paying. Fire is an excellent choice. When you are ready to read it again tomorrow, simply return to the store and purchase another one.