Someday I will be a writer again
I know it’s not just me. And I know it’s not even just writers. I’ve had this conversation lately with a musician and a photographer, too. At some point we wake up and notice that we’ve stopped creating our particular art, because we’re so busy managing the business of our art.
Like this photographer I met at an art festival up in Colorado. She’s been on the road for the last several months, driving her truck and camper and crates of framed work from city to city, selling the pictures she took last year. And she’ll still be on the road until this fall.
And I asked her, “So when do you get to take your photos?”
And she said, “Exactly! That’s the question!”
She’s new to the professional side of things, so happy to finally have galleries and juried art shows take her on, and there’s just all this machinery associated with that. And at some point the business side slips over that 50% mark, and then suddenly it’s 80% or more, and what happened to that idealistic, wildly creative person who camped out on dunes just to be there for first light to take the photos that fed her soul?
Don’t get her wrong–or me. It is beyond wonderful to finally have people want to see what you make. After all those years of creating, polishing, querying, auditioning–whatever your art requires you to do to get your foot in the door–it’s a major fantasy to be able to finally have your work out there for the public to behold.
But then it’s a job. A great job, but a job. There are deadlines and requirements and more business than you imagined. And for some of us, the business side is actually just as invigorating as the art, because we like numbers and people and paperwork or whatever.
But lately I’ve noticed it’s also about 90% of what I do. And I know it’s because there happen to be a couple of big events coming up–my book actually hitting shelves in about a week and a half, and this kidlitosphere conference I’m so excited that we’re having, and some other events that require my attention at the moment–but still, I really, really miss my quiet writing life. Which is strange, because I always thought where I am now is exactly where I wanted to be. And it is in so many ways, but I’ve let it get out of hand. I’ve gotten so caught up in the newness and funness (let’s call that a word), I’ve forgotten to stand on my hind legs and protect my writing time.
I want to write my new book. I want to write my short story. And I want to do all the fun business stuff, too. And now that I’ve read Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I want to go back to cooking. And I want to start playing my piano again. See what I mean?
Anyway, this is just my sitting-on-a-bench-shooting-the-poop-with-you kind of post. Not looking for solutions or suggestions, just want to talk about it out loud. Because I don’t think I really understood this part a year ago. And maybe some of you who are right now where I was then will remember this post a year from now and think, “Huh. That was no lie.”
Now on to the bookkeeping, some interviews, making more party arrangements for my launch, organizing some more details for this conference, reading a book if I get a moment, going to the farmer’s market this afternoon (see Kingsolver, above), answering e-mails, etc. If it sounds like I’m whining, I absolutely don’t mean it that way. I love this whole ride. I’m grateful for all of it.
It’s just that I need to go back to writing.
Technorati Tags: Writing, Publishing
August 16th, 2007 at 5:12 am
Robin, if it helps, you go through phases. I know what it is like for you right now, because that’s what it was like for me last summer. The whirlwind of a big book, the promo push, the fact that nothing ever calmed down enough for you to actually write.
And then it goes away, and after a while you’re just back to writing.
And then a new book comes out, or a new thing happens, and it’s promo promo promo…and so on.
August 16th, 2007 at 6:24 am
Diana, that does help. Thanks a lot.
August 16th, 2007 at 6:58 am
I think it’s just the nature of the beast. Before I started thinking about the business side, writing was my secret pleasure that I sneaked away to do. Now writing is business (enjoyable business, but business nonetheless) and I sneak away and sew instead.
August 16th, 2007 at 7:15 am
Love it when you sit on the bench and “shoot the poop,” Robin. Especially because you have such a welcoming bench.
Don’t you think your brain is secretly writing all the time? I know mine is. It just gets cranky and overprotective of itself if I don’t take it out for regular “words on the page” time.
And personally, I think writing a long project like a novel is emotionally draining. I think you NEED some time doing other stuff, and if you enjoy the business part, all the better.
August 16th, 2007 at 7:50 am
“Don’t you think your brain is secretly writing all the time?”
Yes! I even bought a voice recorder so I won’t look like a psycho when I start talking to myself in the car or in public. (Don’t want to forget anything important.)
My kids are used to this, btw.
Enjoy your funness, Robin.
August 16th, 2007 at 7:51 am
Katie, I love that sewing is your secret pleasure. Your recent post about the pineapple dress was a hoot. Please don’t ever make sewing your job, or then what will you do when you sneak away?
Sara, I think you’re exactly right–my brain is always writing, but because I can’t put anything on paper just now, it gets all cranky. If I just wrote a paragraph or two of story today, everything might return to balance. Der. So why don’t I do that?
Heather, I like your idea–although what’s wrong with looking like a psycho? Keeps people from interrupting you, don’t you think?
August 16th, 2007 at 8:51 am
So it’s not just me either, huh? That’s a good thing.
August 16th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Robin: I hear ya loud and clear on this one. I feel like I’m constantly struggling for balance and so often, the scale feels tipped to the marketing and “other stuff” side instead of the writing side. And I do feel strongly that more often than not, the best use of my time is writing my next book instead of all that other STUFF.
Barbara
August 16th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Sarah and Barbara, thanks for chiming in. It actually does feel better knowing it’s not just me.
Barbara, I know you’re right about the fact that writing your next book is the best use of your time–I mean, you didn’t see J.K. Rowling out there mixing it up with people while she still had book 7 to write–but sometimes I just can’t see the way to avoid some of the “other stuff.” Again, none of it is bad–I mean, I’m going to complain about signing a bunch of book plates for people who want autographed copies?–but every single thing does take time. Like trying to figure out when I can get to the mall to buy clothes for the various events I have starting next weekend. Oh, boo-hoo me–but yeah, it still takes time.
August 16th, 2007 at 11:35 am
What I try to remember is it took me years and years to tinker around and find a workable process for writing. Promo/marketing/interacting with readers is a whole new endeavor, and what I’ve tried to do this year is sort of track what’s efficient and not efficient and what’s fun and not fun, all in hopes that as the years go by, I’ll have a workable process for this, too.
Then I sometimes just think, “the ebb and the flow…” and that calms me. (Plus, we always want what we don’t have, don’t we???)
I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!
August 16th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
I’m gearing up to do a few conference speaking engagements this fall/winter while also doing some travel in an attempt to un-neglect the family/friends I neglected while writing the book while also trying to start in on writing something new, so I hear you. I want to be doing all these things, but I’m also struggling to find balance. That’s pretty much the story of my life, though.
August 16th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Hey, at least you have an excuse. I wouldn’t expect you to have any energy left over for writing with a book coming out in a week and a half.
Me? I haven’t written more than the handwriting in my notebook on the bus in, oh, days, maybe weeks. (It probably seems longer than it is.) Why? Friends. Manga. Editing an anthology. Little stuff.
You’ll get back on the horse soon.
August 17th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Yes, yes, yes! So far my fiction writing is limited to notebooks and the inside of my head, but even with non-fiction and magazine writing, it’s SO much about the business. I would think it must be even harder to jump from the business end of things to the creativity needed to write fiction.
August 17th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Laura, thanks for your thoughts and your well-wishes!
Adrienne, I’m going to be very interested in how you work that out. Balance is so wonderful in those fleeting moments when you feel you’ve really got it. Go out there, do it, come back and teach me/us.
Miri, I can’t imagine how you get anything done (anything extra and fun, that is) in those first few weeks of school. Cut yourself some slack! Once you get the groove, you’ll be back to writing in no time.
Kris, welcome! I just took a look at your exotic bio. You’ve been on safari AND held seahorses? How cool are you?!