Substitute yogi
Today I return, temporarily, to one of my previous jobs: yoga teacher.
Because the timing was right. The owner of the yoga studio was heading to India for several weeks and needed all hands, past and current. And I had just turned in my new novel a few days before she asked me, and was feeling all chill and yoga-ish and open to spending my time some way different than sitting at my desk fourteen hours a day.
So for the past few weeks I’ve gone back to taking yoga every day, both to refresh my memory about what it is I’m supposed to teach, and also as a sort of mini-vacation for my body. It’s like sending myself to a spa. Ninety minutes of stretching in a hot room every single day has done wonders for my neck, my shoulders, my back, my skin. I didn’t realize how haggard I’ve been looking until I noticed that I’m not anymore.
There’s a difference, though, between doing it and teaching it. There’s a certain schtick involved in teaching, and when you’ve been away from it for a while–three years, in my case–you can get a little rusty. You forget how to describe what people should be doing with their arms and legs and butt muscles in this particular pose. So lately as I do my own practice I’ve had a running monologue in my head, telling myself how to do what I just did.
Anyway, you wonder what writers do between projects? Can’t speak for anyone else, but this is how I’ll be spending my next few weeks. Wish me and all my yoga students good luck.
Technorati Tags: Yoga, Yoga Teachers, Yoga Teaching, Writing, Writers
February 10th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Wow! If I lived near you, I’d take your yoga classes! I learned some of the coolest things in yoga (i.e. head stands)!
I just bought Yoga Booty Ballet! Have you heard of this? It’s so much fun!!
I don’t know if I would make a good instructor… in anything. I just like to do my thing.
I hope you have fun and I’m sure you’ll be fantabulous!!
February 10th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Thanks, Christen. How’s all the reading going?
February 10th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
I have heard so much about the health benefits of yoga that I wish I could get into it. I’ve tried many times throughout the years, but I just get impatient with it-I just want to move, move, move instead. It’s so nice to do something different for a awhile-enjoy yourself!
February 10th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Deborah, the kind of yoga I teach is a move, move, move kind. It’s called Bikram yoga, and it takes place in a hot room, and I’ll work your b donka donk off.
Although I hear from Annette you don’t have one.
February 10th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
When my youngest finally gets to go to kindergarten, I want to take a yoga class so someone can show me everything I’m doing wrong.
I’ve been practicing in ignorant bliss.
Enjoy the break.
February 11th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Heather, it’s actually a great idea to take a class–even just once–to see how you’re supposed to do the postures. Since you’re being all twisty and pretzelly, it is possible to tweak something (and I know you have back problems). Plus, it’s so embarrassing to admit you have a yoga injury. People assume you couldn’t get the hang of being serene.
February 11th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I got kicked out of ballet class at the age of four because I was so uncoordinated that I was infecting the other kids.
I know my limitations and handicaps, so I’m very careful when I exercise. I seem to do the most damage to my back when I’m writing.
I know I need to take a class. And I will. Fall ‘08, the first day of school.
February 11th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
“Welcome to Bikram Yoga Mosai,” said the fleece adorned instructor, stretching her arms above her head, pulling in her shoulder blades, and slightly arching her upper back.
“Today we will begin with some light poses and move into the Dodai Mosai,” she said with a confident grace as she flowed into her next pose.
“So, let’s start with the upper area. Bend forward at the waist, slowly, and lift your arms like pteradactyl wings, pulling your shoulder blades together. Lift your head like a raptor about to strike.”
Fleece Girl took her students through some basic movements by demonstration and then moved among them to adjust their forms.
“Herb, this is pose is to allow you to release the Mochachino. There’s too much tension in your elbow.”
“Annette, this is all about reaching your ankle holster when you are unable to bend your knee,” said Fleece Girl, shoving Annette’s head down and straightening her elbow. “Relax. Think of drawing your gun and shooting.”
Fleece Girl worked her way back to the head of the class.
“Ok! Everybody up!” she said, clapping loudly.
The class all stood straight, visibly looser and more limber than when they arrived twenty minutes prior. Herb still clutched the Mochachino.
“As you know, Bikram Yoga Mosai is self-defense against Bikram Mosai Ogres. And since this is an advanced class, we will be working with real Ogres,” said Fleece Girl. “Remember, as long as you maintain the pose, the Ogres won’t eat you. Those of you who feel comfortable with the poses may do the expert forms and capture an Ogre.”
Herb looked around nervously. His Mochachino was almost empty.
“Please only capture one. There are only enough Ogres to eat each of you once,” said Fleece Girl with an intent stare down of Annette.
“Send in the Ogres,” she called.
The back wall mirrors slid apart revealing the fourteen foot tall, gray splotched, one-eyed, drooling Ogres lumbering towards the sweaty, limber students.
“Strike your poses, NOW! SQUEEZE YOUR B DONKA DONKs” shouted Fleece Girl, clenching her B Donka Donk and slowly extending her left arm, keeping her shoulders squared to her hips.
“Wait, I don’t have a …,” said Deborah, never finishing her sentence as a large Ogre pounced on her.
February 11th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
[DEAFENING APPLAUSE]
February 11th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Standing Ovation!!!
February 11th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
i never knew having a b donka donk would be a life saver. (actually i’ve been steadfastly hanging on to mine for the all too probable eventuality of my black chopper going down over the impenatrable amazon jungle and i’d have to live off of it for the weeks it would take me to rebuild the damaged gps device or navigate my way to civilization by the northern cross–sometimes it pays to have a little “inventory” on hand).
February 11th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Bravo!, slurp, Bravo!
February 11th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
I just started a yoga class. I love my b donka donk. I hope I don’t lose it. The instructors all seem to have them, so I think that’s a good sign. Also, we don’t do it in hot rooms. It’s some other kind of yoga. Is there one that starts with an I?
I’m amazed at the difference in this yoga class and the one I took in Florida. Here you’re all in the pose, feeling good, and they’re like, so, are you spiralling this? And then you do, and it’s like –whoa, so THAT’S what that’s supposed to feel like?
I always feel so creative after breathing deeply for an hour.
February 12th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Good for you, Diana! Is it called Iyengar yoga?
The breathing thing is funny, isn’t it? We think we’re doing a good job of it all day, but then you sit down to meditate or do yoga, and you realize you’ve been panting out of your chest all the time, instead of taking true and deep breaths from your belly all the way up. Such a different feeling. Relaxing and freeing.
February 12th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
heather although i’m never one to give unsolicited advice, here goes. don’t wait until the youngest is in anything–do it now. let mama’s yoga night be the daddy dinner night. they will remember the orange kraft mac and cheese as the most wonderful meals of their youth and they will remember that their mom did all sorts of wonderful, mysterious things that made her and thus them (and daddy) happy.
February 12th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
GREAT advice, Annette. Whatcha think, Heather?
February 12th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Thanks, Annette.
Daddy would be more than willing.
Problem is that he gets a call and has to hop on a plane at a moments notice. Scheduling anything is a nightmare for me. I would be doing a lot of things if he didn’t have to travel. But then maybe not, because we might not have any $$$ then. Lol.
And you might laugh, but mommy is the one who makes the neon mac and cheese. Daddy is the chef of the family.
February 13th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
gets a call and immediately hops a plane–are you sure that’s not “commandeers” a plane. this is sounding a lot like my days of working with jack (you know, bauer). sweet wife, a few kids, house in the burbs, gourmet cook–nice cover.