You really have to see the Thomas Crowne Affair

I think the line was something like -

“The guy just capsized a hundred thousand dollar boat because he wanted to see the splash.”

And you’re discounting my freaky luck factor. I win everything!

Lady T, ditto that point about someone else settling the “well what do you want?” debate. Ugh. Please someone take over.

Kelly, I laughed so hard at the idea that the publisher would send someone to make sure the book got finished. But if they were going to send anyone, yeah, make it Queen L. Love her so much. Have you seen her in Holiday? (Not the recent chick flick with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, but the one from a few years ago starring Queen Latifah.) If not, check it out–a great comfort movie for a Saturday.

BJ, I can see you would have given Patrick a run for it in the Game. Earn oodles, spend nuthin’–that’s how it’s done.

Katie, I will walk your dog. I love that job. The others–ugh. I’m with you.

Emma, wouldn’t it be great to turn over all paperwork of any kind to someone else? Applications, registrations, etc. So worth whatever money someone wants to charge to look for your supporting docs, just like you said.

And Patrick, you really do need a British butler. It totally fits your image, and it would make you lose the Game next time around. Sweet.

If I hired fulltime employees, it would be a yard/pool person and a housekeeper/cook. I don’t mind doing anything, if I didn’t have better things to be doing. And I think the housekeeper/cook should be British and male.

I love your number 4 item, Robin! Especially if they added where the person was from, eg: “Suzy. Fellow student”.

Second, to do the grocery shopping. I used to be a grocery addict, but now I go once a month at most. Detest it. Don’t know what changed.

Third, to walk the dog.

Fourth, to give me scalp massages. So I would probably need an assistant with some massage experience.

My friend Laurie, who has similar sensibilities to mine, told me a funny (true) story. She and her husband had a wedding to go to, and her “nice” dress had been shoved in the back of the closet since it was one of the least worn pieces of clothing she owns (it can’t be worn refinishing antique furniture or mucking out horse stalls.) So she decided to iron it to make it look better. She had to find the iron buried in the back of a closet somewhere and had to dig the ironing board out of the basement. As she was setting up the ironing board, her 12 year old daughter walked in the room and asked, “Mommy, what’s that?”

Now, to the game. I’m a big time web designer . . . oh hell, PLEASE don’t make me go there! I like my life SIMPLE. I don’t WANT to have to spend energy on saving receipts to have enough write offs, or to hire an accountant (who I then have to produce PAPERWORK for . . . ugh!) or to have to deal with corporate weenies or people who judge people by the type of car they drive (I like my junker, thank you very much!) or clothes they wear (vintage all the way, babe, no new threads for this diva!) So I guess my biggest wish would be for things to stay simple . . .

My assistant would also have to keep tabs on the cell phone because whenever my mom tries to call me when I’m out and about with it,I can never hear it ring.

Also,sometimes in my house,we get into these”Well,what do YOU want for dinner?” conversations and an assistant would be handy in settling that debate.

Robin, I’ll trade you something for grocery shopping. I actually like to grocery shop, make my list, get my coupons ready, and I cruise the aisles and then I get to stand in line where all kinds of strangers tell me their deepest secrets.