The Friday List–the Quitter’s Edition
Sometimes it feels good to quit. Sometimes it feels GREAT to quit. Sometimes you realize you’ve gone from loving something to tolerating it, to then feeing obligated, to finally resenting it. And there’s that sweet spot where you want to get out, right before you’re totally completely burnt.
This week I found the sweet spot.
I woke up a few days ago and realized I’ve been away from writing for too long. Since last September, when I went to New York to speak at the Random House sales meeting and found out all the things they were going to do and send me to do to publicize my book, I’d say about 80% of my brain power has been diverted by visions of sugar plums. I’ve either been preparing for trips, or going on trips, or recovering from trips for most of the last twelve months. And it’s been FANTASTIC. I’ve had the best time. I’ve met so many creative, fun, fascinating people that I never would have met if I’d just stayed at home and done what I always do.
But I’ve barely written a word. I turned in a book back in January, and while I waited for the edits to come back I basically just farted around, traveled once or twice or four times a month, played on my blog (which I also love, and which also led to meeting so many fun, wonderful people, and led to the 1st Annual Kidlitosphere Conference, which I’m so, so happy about), and I thought about writing my next book, but didn’t. I don’t regret any of the time I’ve spent doing all the things I’ve done this past year, but I do recognize when it’s time to make a change.
Because all this time I’ve been thinking maybe I could be the kind of person who travels around all the time, and does tons of appearances, and still writes a couple of books a year. And still gets to enjoy a happy home life. My visions of sugar plums included this whole persona of Writer Girl, and that girl is tireless and able to go in fourteen different directions and still do everything splendidly without breaking a sweat.
But the Real Writer Me, I finally came around to admitting this week, is not like that at all. She needs to be home–A LOT. She needs lots and lots of quiet time if she’s going to write a word. She needs to see her husband and dogs more than four days a week. And she really, really misses writing stories. She has been starved for attention for an entire year, and she is not happy with me.
So I made Real Writer Me a big promise this week: we’re going to start staying home. We’re going back to writing. A new book by the end of this year. Another new book in the spring. I have too many ideas that need to go onto paper. I MISS it. And I’ve been too distracted for too long.
My nice thing this week? I started saying no. It’s the hardest thing for me to do, because my natural inclination is to accept every invitation, since I’m so grateful people want me to teach or speak. I love teaching, and so it’s always easy to say yes to that, but I’ve been looking at my schedule and I have to draw the line. Maybe Pretend Writer Girl can do it all, but I can’t. And since my ambition is to be an author all the rest of my life, it seems like the writing part has to take priority.
“Put first things first,” says the sticky note at the top of my computer. I’ve really enjoyed a year of play out there in the world, and I’m so happy and grateful that my publisher put both me and my book out there in the public eye and gave it so much support, and I’m super grateful that booksellers like Faith and librarians like Molly reached out to me and put on such incredible events around my book, but now I think it’s time to quietly return to my quiet little life and go back to doing what I love most. Right after one more big speaking and teaching stint next week, that is. But after that, home, home, home. Write, write, write.
Whew. And now to all of you, my friends. What nice things have you done for yourselves this week? Maybe I’m not the only one who decided to quit something for her own good?
Technorati Tags: The Friday List, Self-Care, Self-Kindness, Pampering, Writing, Publishing
October 19th, 2007 at 6:22 am
I took a nap yesterday. I never get to take naps anymore unless I’m sick, so it was nice treat.
I also got my library car this week! I blogged about the card and your book yesterday.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:22 am
that would be card, not car. lol.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:27 am
I’m leaving for a nine night cruise RIGHT NOW. That’s my nice thing for the next two Fridays. I hope to have many books to report on when I return!
October 19th, 2007 at 7:17 am
Heather, I was going to say. We already know you got one new car this year–getting one from the library, too, would have been so cool!
Molly, have a wonderful, wonderful, relaxing, rejuvenating time! You deserve a break!
October 19th, 2007 at 7:33 am
I think I made a decision that’s going to get me more time to write by having a sitter pick up my kids from school two days a week. I’m not sure if my sitter’s free, and I’m not 100% decided, but it’d help with writing as well as the mom-as-chauffeur burnout I’m experiencing. And it feels good to have almost made that decision!
And Robin, all sounds good re: your renewed introverted writer self — congratulations on your cocooning. Since you’re going to be writing like crazy for the rest of the year, how about doing Nanowrimo with me and annette? 50K words in 30 days. It’s SO fun.
October 19th, 2007 at 7:59 am
“Is this your first library car?” said Tina, the librarian.
“Yes. I have other cars, but never a library car,” said Heather.
“Well, obviously it is much better at transporting borrowed books, but there are some other features for us to review,” said Tina. Tina gestured toward the automatic sliding glass doors that lead to the front parking lot.
Heather looked upon her new gleaming metallic blue library car in awe. It was the most beautiful car she had seen. She had never seen a more perfect car designed for carrying books.
“Ok, so, real quick, your basic navigation is the same as any other car. This lever right here opens the books shelving system.”
Four shelves filled with books galore slid out from behind the drivers door.
“Here’s the interface where you put in requests. You just talk to the blue light,” said Tina.
“Oh wow!” said Heather.
“And this panel is for your defense systems.”
“Defense Systems?” asked Heather.
“Ninja book bandits and Lying Chicken People are compulsive library book thieves. Surely you knew,” said Tina, now wondering how Heather passed the Library Car application.
“Oh, of course. I had a ninja at my house looking for books last week. I beat him silly with a twenty-foot pine tree I had been meaning to have removed from my property anyway,” said Heather.
“This launches your nets. It’s the primary non-lethal defense, but here’s the nuclear core atomizer,” said Tina, pointing to a glowing green button. “I prefer that. It saves time. Just hold the button for two seconds then cover your ears.”
Heather nodded in agreement. “Ninjas go boom.”
October 19th, 2007 at 8:09 am
HA!! Thank you, P, for that entertainment. I want to be in a band called Ninjas Go Boom.
October 19th, 2007 at 8:57 am
Yes, ma’am! This is pretty rinky-dink, but your post convinced me to finally give up on the Something About Me Reading Challenge. I’m just not a challenge sort of reader. Instead of resenting my TBR pile, I will read what I want, when I want. So there.
October 19th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Good for you, Robin! Stay home. In fact, stay home all day today. Really.
The nice thing I did this week - this is that post, right? - is go back to bed. I love booktalking to teens, but it wears me out for the rest of the day and sometimes the next. I’ve just been running at full steam for a while, and I’m pooped. So on Wed., I woke up, got my kids off to school, and went back to bed. It was like calling “do-over” on the day. It felt great.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Pam, I’m so happy for you! Love that you gave yourself sleep. I’m convinced that there are a lot of times when I eat sweets and other junk when what my body really wants is a nap. Feed yourself a nap.
Sarah, yay! I get so caught up in challenges (which is why I won’t be doing NaNoWriMo, even though I might end up writing that much on my own next month–but I don’t want the pressure). It’s also why I posted that thing a few days ago about forgetting the TBR pile, and just reading the books you really want to for the rest of the year–exactly like you’ve decided.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:11 am
I want a library car. That would be way cool.
Good for you, Robin, just say no!! I bought the Arsonist’s Guide to Writer’s Homes in New England yesterday. I cleared appointments for Saturday so I could have a day to myself. I rediscovered ratoutille this week.
October 19th, 2007 at 11:45 am
I bought a hot chocolate and read my novel on the train home, instead of working. It was a great start to the weekend.
And I have your book to pick up tomorrow at the post office! I’m very excited and am sure I’ll want more books so am glad to here about your quitting resolution.
October 19th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Oh good for you Robin! I need tons of quiet when I write to… that would explain why I haven’t written anything in forever! O_O Let’s see well… somtimes I go on this crazy rant and start cleaning, organizing, whatever and usually it’s because I see the mess and can;’t take it anymore… SO I did that this week all over our house, and then ran out of things to clean so took a shower. XD I also started Gossip Girl and read alittle more on some of my other books! oh I also patched up a friendship! so I’m doing good!
October 19th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Good things I’ve done this week: Stayed off the blog while I make some decisions. I’m still not 100% there yet, but at least I’ve given myself permission to work on it!
Kudos to you, Robin. Writer girls have to write after all
October 19th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
My somewhat overbearing grandmother (hey, she’s 80; she’s earned it!) spent two days and a night with us this week. My nice thing for me? Actually letting her help with the girls without rolling my eyes about the way she does things. Letting her unsolicited advice go in one ear and out the other without cringing. Asking her to tell my daughter what life was like when she was a child many years ago while I sat and mused about the stories I could write along those lines.
Robin, I await your next book excitedly.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Cool, Jone, you and I can be remote reading buddies, since “Arsonist’s Guide” made my short list of books I want to read before the end of the year.
Emma, thank you! I love to think of my book being read in other countries. That tickles me no end. And hurray for hot chocolate and reading on the train! That sounds so picturesque.
Dylan, good job patching up your friendship! And I so relate to those cleaning frenzies when you just can’t take the clutter anymore. It’s pretty great that you ran out of things to clean and had to clean yourself!
Kelly, good luck to my fellow Writer Girl in making your decision. Sometimes we have to take the long view toward our work: do we want to have books on the shelf, or keep doing what we’re doing and never find the time?
Kelley, I admire your restraint! It’s so hard to keep the eye rolls under control when someone is bossing you around. You’re a good and tolerant granddaughter, and I hope you feel good about that!
October 20th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
Thanks! Yes the clutter gets so old! lol yeah it was cool!
October 21st, 2007 at 9:56 am
I quit my statistics class. It wasn’t required, and now I feel so relieved that I don’t have to worry about it anymore.